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Easter in Florida Is Incomplete Without Porn Filled Easter Eggs

Happy Easter! 

As a kid, my favorite part about this holiday was the Easter Egg Hunt. My mom would put jelly beans in some, quarters in others, and a few even had a dollar bill inside. Me and my two sisters would compete furiously to see who could find the most in the time given. 

There is nothing like the excitement and anticipation of what might be inside that cute, plastic egg. 

Unless, of course, it's not your mom, but a "deranged stranger" who decides to play bunny and deliver an Easter egg straight to your mailbox. And instead of candy or money, inside you receive "a cracker in the shape of a fish, one sheet of toilet paper, a powdered drink mix, and a crumpled up piece of paper containing pornographic images."

Ummm, excuse me? 

Yes, this actually happened, and of course, as the Hard Factor Guys remind us weekly, in the state of Florida. A Florida woman, (Abril Cestoni) was arrested after allegedly placing Easter eggs containing pornographic images and non-threatening references to churches in over 400 people's mailboxes. 

Very creepy. 

In her view, she was trying to use the spirit of Easter to spread her message and educate residents about the church and the clergy. 

I think I've changed my mind. This is genius. 

This is impeccable timing, actually. Is there a more poignant moment than Easter to deliver a religious message juxtaposed with whimsy and consumerism? I mean it's kind of perfect if you ask me. 

Cestoni was charged with 11 counts of Distributing Obscene Material, as well as driving with a suspended license. She was also charged with violating Florida's stay-at-home order for travel not related to an essential activity.

Wait, distributing pornographic images isn't considered ESSENTIAL in Florida? Considering the mental state of everyone in quarantine, you'd think free porn delivered in a plastic egg would be a gift from the Gods. Strike that. Considering the season, maybe a gift from the Son of God. Or at least a crazy Florida woman working on his behalf.