Pornstar Alana Evans Absolutely Destroys The $2 Trillion COVID-19 Stimulus Package In Open Letter To President Trump

Carl4/03/2020 5:02 PM

We got a good old fashioned policy debate sparked up by retired-pornstar-turned-top-union-leader Alana Evans and honestly I couldn't be more jacked up for some good beef.

In this case, I'm back reporting on the porn industry because I find it so fascinating and interesting. Just last week it was notable that they'd be back in business come April 1st and everyone got super excited.

There's just one PAWG sized problem. Pornography was excluded and from Trumps $2 trillion stimulus package and our adult performers are getting screwed. Our girl Alana offers up some insight as to why. Here's the highlights:

TDB - … the applications for relief were finally made available. As a sole proprietor … the COVID-19 Economic Injury Disaster Loan would provide economic relief to businesses/sole proprietors that are currently experiencing temporary loss of revenue within three days of approval, and the loan advance would not have to be repaid.
Unless you are “prurient.”

Alexa what does prurient mean.

Prurient, adjective, means having or encouraging an excessive interest in sexual matters or intercourse.

So a fancier way of saying All Horned Up. Got it. So basically if you're horny during the pandemic, and derive income from said horniness, you're in trouble.

Fortunately, Alana Evans must have been paying attention during all those Fuck The Teacher scenes because she sure has a good grasp on how to shape a policy-based argument.

TDB - From my understanding, COVID-19 isn’t choosing its victims based on their social or economic background, but our government has decided that millions of tax-paying citizens are unworthy of their federal aid because we have “prurient” jobs. Even if you meet the entire list of requirements for the disaster relief loan, the fact that your income is derived from the adult industry makes you unworthy of their aid.

Now is a good time to remind everyone that 3 of the top 10 global websites are Adult in nature. All of them are notably bigger than Amazon. To say the world is counting on this labor group to deliver during a pandemic would be a gross understatement. And yet despite this demand, we still fail to embrace their contributions.

TDB - As this news makes its way through the industry, we are seeing many recognize the discrimination that is occurring. Taxation without representation has been a constant theme.

Any time you use "Taxation without representation" you get my vote. That's a top 10 American saying all time and I won't take debate on the topic. I'm legit ready to start a riot just saying it out loud.

TBD - At this time, we are looking to our politicians, our union leaders, our labor supporters, and our workers to organize and fight back. As COVID-19 continues to spread, and we are all encouraged to shelter in place and stay at home, adult performers are keeping the masses entertained. They greet their fans daily, offering a ray of sunshine on these cloudy days, even if their pantry shelves are bare.

The best parts of arguments are usually made at the end. After all the points and facts are laid out, and this one is no different. Alana Evans absolutely murders her position on the stimulus package. Even if they're prurient. And even if the government is against that and it's not a worth business in their eyes. Even if you squeeze all the morality and religion under the sun into the conversation. How can you deny that adult performers aren't working on behalf of public good? We're talking about an entire industry devoted to orgasms. If that doesn't qualify as essential during a quarantine then you midas whale close all the grocery stores too.