I'll admit it, some of this is based off assumption. For example, I don't actually know if the dump he was dropping was "fat" per se. It may have been one of those deer droplet-type deals, or maybe even diarrhea. I don't know for sure! What I do know is that he got that cryptic, typo-laden text from Jim Irsay saying "HEy Fill, could u make won of those videos introducing urself? You're are the best! - Jim". And when you get a message from the boss man, you don't wait for a better optic.
In all reality, he was probably just trying to find a quiet place away from the kids, which is a nice gesture. I just hope Colts fans will be quick to forget the pain my man has caused you in the playoffs.
I'll always love you, Phil. If you Colts fans want to know more about him besides the 4th quarter jokes you see on NFL network and twitter, here was my obituary for his time as a Charger.