SOURCE – A generous customer has paid $1,000 to pick up the tab for diners in dozens of vehicles at the drive-thru lanes of a West Texas fast-food restaurant. KTXS-TV reported the man was in a white truck at a Chick-fil-A in Abilene on Monday night when he gave the money to the restaurant. The man ‘told employees he wanted to pay for everyone in the drive-thru line behind him’ for as long as the cash lasted,’ the affiliate station reported. KXTS-TV reported that the man told workers that his name is John, he just wanted ‘to make everyone’s Monday better,’ the station said, and gave away 10 bills worth $1000. Wolf told WPTV, ‘I asked him, ‘did you win the lottery today like why are you doing this?’ He was like ‘Monday’s are tough and I want to make everyone have a good day, like I just want to help them have a good day.’
What are the odds that this was actually Mark Cuban? The quote sounds exactly like him. Guy basically said “Mondays suck and I can afford it.” I can just see the little smirk on his face as those words roll out of his mouth. Plus, Cuban has probably been hard dick partying his ass off these past 2 weeks as the seeds of dissent are being sown in the NFL brand just like he predicted. What better way to capitalize on how scummy the NFL is than to throw your own name into the news cycle with how generous and charitable you are by paying for $1,000 worth of the best fast-food chicken sandwiches and waffle fries in the world. You can practically see the headlines now: “Mark Cuban’s anonymous gesture proves some leagues do care.” “Cuban pays it forward, NFL pays domestic abusers.” “Cuban’s charity knows no bounds: listens to portly smut blogger’s ideas for all-white furniture store, counterfeit $2 bills, ‘frambulance’.” Don’t say I didn’t tell you when some anonymous source reveals that it was him and you’re reading near identical headlines six hours from now.
PS: Up until like two years ago I didn’t know Abilene was actually a place. I thought it was part of the name of a college because Abilene Christian is the first one that comes up when you create a player in Madden #BarstoolConfessions
PPS: When I say two years ago, I really mean until I just read this article #BarstoolConfessionsConfessions