Ryan Tannehill Just Got Motherfucking PAIIIIIIID To Stay With The Titans For 4 More Years
Look at the NFL putting the sports world on its back like Greg Jennings in Madden by having the first seat get taken in the crazy game of QB musical chairs that has popped up this offseason before the ink from the newly signed CBA even had time to dry. The usual reaction to a quarterback getting a new contract is for the entire internet to flip the fuck out over the amount of money he signed for before everyone realizes that the contract isn't nearly as massive as it seems. But $91 million in total guarantees seems like a decent amount of straight cash homie for a quarterback the Miami fucking Dolphins no longer had any use for exactly one year ago to the day they traded him. Then again, that quarterback led the Titans to some big wins at the perfect time and had Mike Vrabel's dick sitting squarely on the hot seat for multiple weeks without cracking the triple digit passing yards mark and was one win away from having the most ridiculous subplot ever during Super Bowl Week.
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The best part about this for those of us that are not making $100+ million to play the sport of football or the agent that negotiated Tanehill's contract is that it takes a big potential landing spot for Tom Brady off the table in this Game of Throwns (sorry I had to wedge that name in there because it popped in my head). If you thought the internet was crazy when Brady Facetime'd Mike Vrabel at a Syracuse game, just imagine what kind of detective work quarantined internet sleuths with no other sports would be doing involving any pre or post game meetings between them last year or any quotes ever said by one about the other. The other big part of this is that Derrick Henry may get tagged since gigantic running backs who run over people for a living are not likely to fetch deals with a lot of long term, guaranteed money.
But this blog is about Ryan Tannehill. Congratulations to him and the rest of his family, including Mrs. Tannehill, getting their chicken and being able to buy instead of rent in Nashville!
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Now lets go to Dallas to see how Jerry Jones is reacting to Tannehill's contract before he sits down at the negotiating table with Dak Prescott.