Take Advantage of Cheap Air Fares By Attending The Exploding Hammer Festival in Mexico

In a country with 31,174 murders in 2017, the most dangerous thing to do there isn't trying to buy drugs in Tijuana or walking while drunk in Cabo San Lucas after midnight. It's attending the annual Hammer Festival. 

Why? This festival sees participants smashing hammers with a mix of sulfur and chlorate attached to the ends. Participants smash the hammers against rail beams, causing them to explode and smoke. For a better visual, see above. Lit. Literally. 

We need this event more than oxygen...for the culture. At this moment, festivals are firmly on the hot seat. With Coronavirus looming over us like a rain cloud over Eeyore, we've seen popular festivals like SXSW and Coachella capitulate like little bitches. Coachella is gone til November October and SXSW was just canceled altogether. SAD. Not the Hammer Festival though. Like the marathon, it continues. 

The best news of all is how cheap it is to get to Mexico rn. You can fly nonstop to San Juan de la Vega (the host of the international Hammer Festival) for the low low price of $300 roundtrip. LFG. 

So for all you millennials that are crushed you can't hear Kim Kardashian wax poetic about criminal justice reform in Austin, there is now a reasonable alternative to bending your brain like a hit of peyote at Burning Man (which has NOT been canceled). 

Need more convincing? According to Mashable, over 100 police officers will be present as well as ambulances to care for the injured. So maybe, if you're lucky, when you inevitably get hit with hammer shrapnel, the medics will have some extra coronavirus test kits for you to take home from your travels. 

With no crowds likely at the NCAA tournament, and sporting events/concerts/plays being canceled worldwide, what the hell else are you going to do? You only live once (and maybe for not that much longer). 

You Midas Whale just up and go. You're welcome.