Jeffrey Epstein Claimed He was Being Stalked by a Mafia Ninja. (Before He Didn't Kill Himself.)

Source - Jeffrey Epstein once complained to authorities that someone dressed as a ninja who had ties to the mafia was caught hiding in the bushes outside his home in Florida while on house arrest.

The millionaire pedophile had claimed in a letter to the State Attorney's Office around 2008 that the mafia ninja was stalking him, according to court documents related to his case.

In the letter, which was written on Epstein's behalf by his attorney, the financier claimed his security team caught the man outside his home. 

Epstein claimed his security chased the ninja to a nearby car and was able to obtain the license plate number, The Sun reports. 

That's how Epstein was able to determine the man had links to the Gambino crime family, his lawyer claimed. 

Well here is definitive proof, in case you've slow to figure this out before now, that Jeffrey Epstein was not just your ordinary, run of the mill, regular everyday billionaire serial child rapist. An average pedophile confined to his mansion for setting up an empire to serve him up underage girls to molest would claim he's being stalked by the Mafia. Or by a ninja. But both? That's operating at a whole other level. That's what separates the world class superrapist from just your garden variety monster. 

The more I think of this, the more intriguing it is. Is there some degree of truth to this? Even a kernel of truth? Are traditional mob families branching out now? Have they gotten tired of just shooting guys or nailing their hand to a bar with a knife and then garroting them with piano wire? So now their subcontracting out their killing work to freelance stealthy, Japanese covert assassins with kitanas? I suppose it's possible. And about as likely as someone registering a car at the Florida DMV to "Gambino Crime Family." 

But as they say in the Supervillain Who Owns His Own Pedophile Island business, if you're going to lie, you might as well lie BIG. I haven't set up a worldwide network of people to lure victims to me. I haven't invited powerful people to fly my private jet to orgies. Prince Andrew doesn't sweat, dance or commit statutory rape. 

And I'm being hunted by Mafia ninjas. If only Epstein had lived a little longer, maybe he could've kept doubling down on that. And maybe we'd find out he was being stalked by Mafia ninja pirate outlaw Nazi werewolf vampire Klingon Orcs. It's crazy. But I supposed it's less crazy than believing he wasn't murdered to keep him quiet.