Power Ranking The Best Chants In The English Premier League
It is a very slow day over here at Barstool HQ. It feels like this day is never gonna end, to be honest. Mostly because with everything that's going on down in Miami with the Superbowl, there's nobody here. There's only a handful of people and it seems like half those people are just on the radio all day. It makes me wonder if there are that many people in Miami or people just didn't show up. It's none of my business though, I'm here, I'm doing my job.
However, I'm pretty much alone with my thoughts. What does my brain think of?
Well, many things but I'd say about 65% of the time I sing soccer chants in my head. I'm not even kidding, all sorts as well. The majority of them being Chelsea chants but it's one of those things where you hear a catchy chant and it just gets stuck in your head.
So, naturally, I figured I'd use my brainpower to come up with a top ten list of soccer chants.
"But Ethan, there are so many, how can you choose only ten?"
Here are the requirements:
- English Premier League only. This is mostly because that's my relative expertise and it would be no fun if you couldn't understand the lyrics because of a language barrier.
- No team anthems. Things like You'll Never Walk Alone and Forever Blowing Bubbles will be excluded because I'm looking for chants, not songs (and YNWA would probably run away with the one spot).
- If it's a player chant, that player has to currently be on the team. This requirement is more so to keep the list fresh and relevant if anything.
- Have to be catchy. It has to be something that gets stuck in your head.
So, without further ado, let's get into it!
Number 10: Oh when the Spurs go marching in (Tottenham)
"Oh when the Spurs, go marching in
Oh when the Spurs, go marching in
I wanna be in that number
Oh when the Spurs go marching in"
I borderline left this one of the list only because so many teams have different iterations of it and Spurs are shit. But I will admit, it does get very loud at the New White Hart Lane when the fans sing it. It's also the best version of the song so I'll give Tottenham the benefit of the doubt.
Number 9: We've Got Super Frankie Lampard (Chelsea)
"We’ve got Super Frankie Lampard,
he knows exactly what we need,
Tomori at the back, Tammy in attack,
Chelsea’s gonna win the Champions League"
Chelsea fans have been coming up with some very chants as of late with the whole youth movement going on at the club and I absolutely love this one. I look for chants that are a) catchy and b) involves all aspects and this chant covers all those bases. Yet, it's also very easy to remember and get stuck in your head for about a week.
Number 8: Jamie Vardy's Havin' A Party (Leicester City)
"Jamie Vardy's Havin' A Party
Bring your Vodka and your Charlie" [loop]
Short and sweet, able to repeat. Yes, Jamie Vardy is being stereotyped as a cokehead because of his rather animated personality. He is also a little squirrelly so I can see that. Also, if you have not watched it, Chat Shit Get Banged- THE VARDY STORY is absolutely spectacular and I highly recommend it.
Number 7: The Sergio Aguero Song. (Manchester City)
"Na na na na
Na na na na
Na na
Na na
(x3)
Sergio Aguero made City champions!
You thought you'd won the league at Sunderland,
You'd not,
You thought you were the champions,
You're not! You're not!
'Cause up stepped an Argentine
Who scored a goal in Fergie Time,
Sergio Aguero made City champions!"
This is actually an older City Song from when they won the league in a very, very dramatic fashion on the final day of the season during the 2011/12 campaign. However, you still hear fans use it sometimes during the Manchester Derby. Nothing better than being able to rub your rivals' face in a big steaming pile of shit.
Number 6: Lucas Torreira chant (Arsenal)
"Torreira whoaa, Torreira whoaa
He comes from Uruguay, He's only 5ft 5
Torreira whoaa, Torreira whoaa"
A very factual chant and easy chant. Who would've thought Arsenal fans are that smart. At least they can come up with some decent chants during this hard time.
Number 5: Cos' We Support The Palace (Crystal Palace)
"We love you, we love you, we love you,
And where you play we follow we follow we follow,
Cos we support the Palace, the Palace, the Palace,
And that's the way we like it we like it we like it,
Whoaaaaaaa whoaaaaaaaaa…"
Despite not being the best football soccer team, Palace supporters are some of the best in the world. Selhurst Park is always rocking on the weekend, regardless of the quality of the field. They also travel extraordinarily well, they sell out every away ticket package throughout the entire season. This particular chant echos very loudly.
Number 4: Tony Martial Comes From France (Manchester United)
"Tony Martial, he came from France,
English press said he had no chance,
50 million down the drain, Tony Martial scores again.."
s/o Zah. He often walks around the office singing this little old tune. To his defense, it is quite the song. I love a chant that is pretty much a big fuck you to all the doubters.
Number 3: Willian Song (Chelsea)
"The shite from Spurs, They bought his flight,
But Will-i-an, He saw the light,
He got the call from Abramovic, And off he went to Stamford Bridge,
And he hates Tottenham, he hates Tottenham,
He hates Tottenham and he hates Tottenham…"
This one might be a little bias but this chant is electric. So for those who don't know, in 2013, Tottenham flew in Brazilian winger Willian as a prospect transfer. He then got a call from Chelsea owner Roman Abramovic, and off he went to Stamford Bridge. The Chelsea-Spurs rivalry is pretty big but then again, everyone in London hates Tottenham.
Number 2: Allez, Allez, Allez (Liverpool)
"We've conquered all of Europe
We're never going to stop
From Paris Down To Turkey
We've got to win a lot
But Bob Paisley and Bill Shankly
The fields of Anfield road
We are loyal supporters
And we've come from Liverpool
Allez, Allez, Allez.
Allez, Allez, Allez."
Liverpool fans are some of the most loyal, loudest fans in all of the sports. It's cool to see them finally having their moment in the sun. This chant will be synonymous with this Liverpool run and for a good reason. The energy that the crowd brings with this chant makes me envy every Liverpool. It also helps that it's one of the catchiest songs I've ever heard in my life.
Number 1: Virgil Van Dijk Song (Liverpool)
"He's our center-half, He's our number four,
Watch him defend, And we watch him score,
He'll pass the ball, Calm as you like,
He's Virgil van Dijk, He's Virgil van Dijk… (Repeated)"
This chant is my favorite chant in the entire world. The first time I heard it, I couldn't get it out of my head for literally a month. It also helps that VVD is so prominent in the soccer world, as he was runner up for the Ballon d'Or. He's just a cool guy too and once again, Liverpool is the best team in the world at the moment so it's only fitting that they have the best chance too.
So there it is. My power rankings of current EPL chants.
Please let me know what you think or if I missed anything specific. There are some pretty good ones I left out due to the criteria I was using for the list but if you're just in the mood to listen to more chants, click here.