This Blog Is For Everybody Who Thinks I Need To Give Smitty A Full Time Job
As mentioned on “Staying Up With Smitty”
So yesterday we found out that Smitty works at a fruit stand or some rachet shit like that. Just poor people stuff. Now all the comment section bozos are trying to get me to give him a full time job. Like I’m supposed to feel bad for his sorry ass. Well let me give you 2nd grade morons a little life lesson on capitalism, economics and the blog life. Everybody who reads Barstool knows Philly is the red headed step child of Barstool. They have as much traffic as Boston does in it’s pinky finger. That’s just the facts jack. So excuse me if I don’t want to pay 2 full time writers in a city that can’t rub 2 nickels together. Keep in mind no city has 2 full time writers except Boston. Chicago doesn’t. NY doesn’t. Barstool U doesn’t. Yet people want me to pay 2 guys in our least read city? That makes sense. Put yourself in my shoes. What would paying Smitty change in Philly or Barstool besides nothing? Philly is what it is. A fulltime Smitty ain’t changing that. And Smity has known the score from the beginning.. Every employee with Barstool knows EXACTLY where they stand with me. Smitty has been part time since day 1 here and I’ve told him to make life decisions as though he’ll never be full time because Philly just isn’t successful enough by itself. Listen nobody would love to be proven wrong more than me but it hasn’t happened in 3 years and winning over 75 people in the comment section doesn’t mean shit. It’s the millions of other people who who you got to impress and it hasn’t happened yet.
But since I have a huge fucking heart here is what I’m doing for all you bleeding heart liberals who want Smitty to have a full time job. Here is your chance. Now obviously I ain’t paying for it. I’m too busy paying for new cities to open. Yes there is a difference between spending money trying to break into new markets vs. dumping cash into money pit markets. So it’s put up or shut up time for the Smitty fanatics. If you feel so bad for him you can pay for it. Buy a #PaySmitty shirt. I figure it will take about 2000 of them to pay half his salary. I’ll kick in the rest. That will be 1999 more than we’ve sold in Philly since the blog started. If we hit 2000 he’s got a job. If we don’t he’s still part time and I’m gonna take all that money on Smitty Tshirts sales buy a horse with it instead, ride it to Smitty’s fruit stand in Philly, buy some sauce and feed it to the horse. (Taken Voice…Good Luck)