The Detroit Tigers, A Baseball Team, Have Drafted More Super Bowl Starting Quarterbacks Than The Detroit Lions

January 5, 1992. That was the last day the Detroit Lions won a playoff game. Well over 10,000 days ago. Somehow, within those 10,000 days, Patrick Mahomes has been born, went to high school, got a degree, ate a ton of ketchup straight out of the jar, went to college, forced Baker Mayfield to transfer, and got drafted by the Detroit...Tigers. In the 37th round of the 2014 Draft, the Tigers figured why the fuck not. And ended up drafting the best QB in Detroit history.

Which is really more cruel than anything. It would be like if the Lions drafted Mike Trout at running back. Just a completely useless bit of wacky sports trivia that would drive me up a goddamn wall if I was a Detroit sports fan. Imagine watching the Lions go literally 0-16, ostracize the franchise's best running back and wide receiver over the years, only for the fucking Tigers to draft the most physically gifted quarterback of all time. Now, to the Lions credit they didn't even have a shot to draft Mahomes. One of the rare years they weren't picking inside the Top 10, and with Stafford still plenty young enough three years ago they wouldn't have taken him regardless. But still, if I was a Detroit fan I would just have preferred this have not happened. Pray for Detroit Don in these dark times.

Perhaps not all hope is lost. Detroit may just have to wait 25 years like Kansas City did for Mahomes. Per The Guardian:

The 1979 Major League Baseball Draft was not particularly prosperous for the Kansas City Royals. They did not find their next great shortstop or big first baseman. Their top choice was a pitcher named Atlee Hammaker whose best years were as a San Francisco Giant. Most of their other picks were young men who would never breathe the air of a big league clubhouse.

And then there were those two Hall of Fame quarterbacks.

John Elway and Dan Marino.

At the time both were teenagers in their last days of high school – Elway in Los Angeles and Marino in Pittsburgh – already committed to college football careers that would ultimately build their fame. Since both Elway (Stanford) and Marino (University of Pittsburgh) had yet to play a college football game, their NFL futures were hardly certain. The Royals, who picked Marino in the fourth round and Elway in the 19th, were offering professional contracts and a path to the major leagues.

So yeah, turns out the key to drafting a generational talent under center is by having your local baseball team draft a Hall of Famer or two decades in advance. Your time is coming, Detroit!