I Hate This "Red Louis" Fan More Than I Hate Anyone In The World

ST. LOUIS — The couple at the next table is sorry to interrupt, but they’ve noticed Travis Sheridan’s jersey and they must say something. The husband is a Boston Red Sox fan. The wife is originally from St. Louis. They’re here for the World Series, loyalties split. So they can relate to Sheridan when they see him sitting in this downtown St. Louis restaurant wearing a jersey that’s half Red Sox and half Cardinals. He’s one person and his loyalties are split. “Red Louis” the jersey says. There’s a “St. Sox” one at home too. He wore it a day earlier and earned similar reactions. He shares stories with the couple for a few minutes, they laugh and take a picture together.

First and foremost, I think I speak for all Red Sox fans when I say Travis Sheridan can go eat a bag of dicks. Your loyalty is split, bro? Can’t decide who to root for? That’s fine, we’ll make the decision for you. Get the fuck out! We don’t want your Benedict Arnold ass. We don’t need you wearing our colors and high-fiving all the slack jawed midwesterners who think your little jersey is adorable. Kick rocks, idiot. Give me your “Red Sox Nation” card (because you seem like the kind of guy who carries one of those) and let me tear it up right in front of your stupid fucking face.

And secondly, this makes Cardinals fans look so horrible. They all love you and think your jersey is great? They’re all so kind and want pictures with you? Fuck that. Being “nice” to your enemy makes you a good baseball fan the same way being loyal to the crown made you a good American, it didn’t. You’re supposed to hate the other guy. Supposed to talk trash and tell them to fuck themselves if they have the audacity to wear opposing colors in your barn. Walk into Fenway in a “St. Sox” jersey and see what happens. Tell that story on Landsdowne and let me know how it’s recieved. “No you see I’m from St. Louis and have loved the Cards my whole life but I moved to Boston a couple hundred days ago and now I love them too. That’s why I’m wearing both jerseys.” FUCK that. Any adult over the age of 18 who changes allegiances because of a move deserves to be knocked the fuck out. That just means you were never a fan to begin with.