"No," I said. "I don't want anything to do with Antonio Brown," I told you.
"But Old Balls," you replied. "He's the best receiver in the league!"
"He won't be," I explained. "Not when he's causing problems, bitching about his lack of touches, calling out his quarterback and his coaches for not getting him the ball, and basically doing everything he's been doing for 10 years like the self-infatuated, egomaniacal, narcissistic manchild he is an always will be."
"You got it wrong," you responded. "That was him in Pittsburgh and Oakland. He won't pull that stuff in New England because the locker room is strong and he respects Tom Brady too much."
I've felt like I won this particular debate the second AB texted something cryptically threatening to a woman including pictures of her kids. But I still got some pushback after the Patriots told him to pack his shit and be gone and the offense struggled. But now that we've seen this, is there anyone alive who wants to argue he was going to straighten up and fly right?
This isn't Antonio Brown having a bad moment. Not that even that would be an excuse. This is HIM. His nature. It's how he's hardwired. He's the scorpion in the Native American fable who stings the fox halfway across the river and when the fox says, "Why did you do that? Now we'll both drown" and the scorpion says "Because I'm scorpion. What else did you expect?"
And if you don't accept that, and have yourself convinced that if the Patriots had ignored the threat-text and kept him around that he'd be a model teammate and spending all his free time delivering care packages to the needy, remember that this is what he's posting to 3.7 million followers on social media while he's looking for an NFL job. He posted this because he thinks it casts him in a positive light. That those 3.7 million people will watch it and think he has a good point and take his side. So how in the actual fuck do you think he'd be conducting himself if he felt he had some job security?
Uh-uh. A hard no. The Pats gave him a shot. They tried on the Antonio Brown shoes and walked up and down the aisle a little bit and decided they did not fit. Correctly so. We would've gotten four more months of this deranged nonsense and it would've tore the 2019 team apart. No thanks. We got off easy. And this lunatic is somebody else's problem.
P.S. I prefer my wide receivers jumping on the hoods of Mercedes Benzes in Beverly Hills, thanks. Those shenanigans are cheeky and fun. Brown's shenanigans are cruel and tragic, which makes them not really shenanigans at all.