Let me tell you a little secret. Erika Nardini scares the shit out of me. The way she says good morning to everyone in the office has a chipper tone and a high pitch that only an assassin would employ. You know, like no one really is that sunny. It also didn't help that on my second day, playfully referred to as "chit chat gate", Erika tweeted at us to "do something". I've been terrified of her wrath ever since.
So when I received a random and slightly fishy urgent request to "be executed swiftly" from Erika via email, I didn't stop to ask any questions.
Sidebar: When I received this request, I was in the middle of Verizon Fios hell at my new apartment. It's taken almost a week for my new place to get internet, and I was leaving the technician as I got this email.
I was out of the office, flustered, eager to please, and truthfully a little taken aback, even angry Erika would ask me, not her assistant Daniela, to run her errands for her. I even thought about how odd the word choice was. What the fuck Erika? What game are you playing?? Is this for content? I got flashes of White Sox Dave who almost had to Uber the whole way from NY to Chicago if he lost the pitching contest. Or Blind Mike who almost was fired on the radio last week if he didn't agree to kiss Dave's feet. Listen, lots of thoughts were swirling around upstairs.
If this was ANY OTHER company, I definitely would have said no. I actually like to say no to dumb trivial requests. But for YOU Erika, whatever you need.
So I emailed my phone number back. And got this.
Gift cards? What type of "Making The Band" go get P-Diddy some cheesecake from Juniors moment is this?
But... again... Terrified. Remember that NY TIMES article that came out about how Erika texts people randomly on the weekends to see if they're dedicated to the game? There she goes again, making unreasonable asks of her employees.
So. I followed along.
I even saved her damn fake cell number in my phone.
At this point as I sent in the codes for "these clients" she was in a conference with... my radar went up. Especially after I went and did this...
Once there were more errands that involved more walking around the city, to over the river and through the woods to Target or Safeway... I texted Daniela
Oh boy. Then I checked the address I got from Erika...
DSANTOS24@tampabay.rr.com... Erika is this you? LOL
WHAT. AN. IDIOT.
I always made fun of the people who got scammed on the internet. Where some Nigerian Prince needs you to wire him money from Western Union? Or when you try and rent an apartment but can't get the keys til you send deposit to their second house in Iowa?
That would never happen to me. I'm WAYY too smart for that shit.
Not only is that statement TOTALLY false... I've been sitting here for the last two hours wondering, "am I actually the dumbest person on the PLANET?"
But I also WAS looking for something to write today. So guess who got the last laugh? Thanks for reading.