Introducing the newest Barstool DMV blogger. pic.twitter.com/3A6d23cxdI
— Nate (@BarstoolNate) March 24, 2014
— David Portnoy (@stoolpresidente) March 24, 2014
So everyone knows Britt by now. Former smokeshow local news reporter here in DC, now on her way to ESPN. All day KFC has been telling me how preposterous it is that I have her dog in my house. He’s gone on and on about how fucking bizzaro it is and has been relentless about it. Literally have never seen KFC care more about anything than the fact I’m taking care of Britt’s dog while she is in Bristol for whatever big timers do in Bristol.
I haven’t been able to see the big deal. It’s what happens when you’re a power couple, right? You voluntarily take care of dogs and get nothing in return. Isn’t that the pure definition of what a DC power couple is? While the girl is off at ESPN rubbing shoulders with SVP and the like, the blogger takes her dog out 15 times including at 5am and it never uses the bathroom once. The girl drives the nice fancy new car and the blogger isn’t sure if his will start the next time he decides to leave the house. It’s called ruling the world, maybe you should look it up, Kevin.
I honestly cannot believe how wild they are going. KFC is FURIOUS at me that I don’t see this as a big deal. What, do I have to document all my smokeshow/celebrity power couple moves? There’s not enough blogs in the world.
Now if you’d excuse me, I have to go do big time things* with me and Britt’s dog.
*Take it out for the 16th time and not eat lunch because it still won’t take a shit.