Rex Says He's Going To Alter His Mark Sanchez Tattoo, Here's A List Of Ideas For Him To Consider
ORLANDO, Fla. – So now that Mark Sanchez is an ex-Jet, the question on everybody’s mind (OK, not everybody) is: What does Rex Ryan do with the infamous Sanchez tattoo on his upper-right arm? Ryan responded with a sheepish look Tuesday morning when the question was posed to him during a sitdown with reporters at the NFL owners meetings. “Guys, the tattoo is still there,” he said, rolling up his sleeve to provide a partial peek. “I’m not going to say anything about the Sanchez tattoo. It was my tattoo and it’s still my tattoo.” For those not familiar with Ryan’s celebrated body art, the tattoo is an image of his wife wearing a Sanchez jersey. The tattoo was done back in the good old days, when Sanchez still was the Jets‘ franchise-type quarterback, but it didn’t become a news item until January 2013, when he was photographed by a paparazzi on vacation in the Bahamas. “I may alter it, who knows?” Ryan said. “I’m going to put 75 on it, to honor Winston Hill (His dad, Buddy was Jets defensive coach when Hill played). That’s the idea. That’s what I’m going to do.”
Well this is a real life thing. A real life story being covered by all the newspapers and the blogs because my dumb ass head coach was stupid enough to get a tattoo honoring a guy who ended up literally being the worst quarterback in the league. Just another day here in Jets land. $30.4 million in cap space that we haven’t done a goddam thing with. Already added another ring to the circus signing Mike Vick. And now we’re talking about Rex’s creepy NC-17 tattoo of his wife mixed with Mark Sanchez. Its a pretty weird tattoo when you think about it. Like even if Sanchez was a franchise QB, still a bizarre idea for a permanent tat. Factor in that he’s one of the worst QBs ever and its just that much worse.
But we’re not here to look to the past any more. We’re here to look to the future. So if Rex wants to alter his tattoo, we’re here to help. Fuck all that Winston Hill talk. Here’s the best ideas for Rex’s Sanchez tattoo:
69
No brainer here for Rex. Nice and easy. Take a page out of Gronk’s book: when in doubt just go with 69. Thats always funny. Plus now that he’s lost all that weight he can actually probably 69 her.
Tebow
Leave the 6 and alter the rest of the tattoo and make it a tribute to all the fallen QBs that met their demise under your regime.
Feet
Its a pretty good rule of thumb that you should only get inked up with something you know you are gonna love for the rest of your life. Well this is pretty much a mortal lock for eternity for Rex Ryan. It was a toss up between snacks and a juicy, tasty foot. I think feet are Rex’s one true love.
Hank’s 2man
Hank’s 2-Man had a 3 or 4 week run on the blog that will go down in Barstool history. That was equivalent to Sanchez’s 2 straight AFC Championship Games. Some people loved the 2-man. Thought it was hysterical. Other people thought it was terrible. Just like the early years of 6’s career. Now they’re both just dead.
Vick/Geno
Got a couple black QBs who wear number 7. Pretty safe bet here. Whichever one doesn’t play as shitty and takes control of the team will likely be a black guy wearing that number. Thats a safe bet for years and years to come. He definitely won’t have to worry about this long term.
Ah fuck it, Vick is gonna win the starting job anyway
