Father's Day Collection | T-Shirts, Hats, Polos, Crewnecks, Q-Zips and MoreSHOP NOW


Some Men Just Want To Watch The Thanksgiving Table Burn

Boy oh boy was that guy ready for Thanksgiving. He had spent the previous 365 days doing nothing but reading reddit threads, eating high dosage edibles and watching the Joe Rogan Experience. He had his takes ready and he let them fly as soon as the bird hit the table. He had an audience that was forced to be around him and he wasn’t going to waste the opportunity. But make no mistake about it, that guy sucks. He suuuuuuuuuuuuuucks. Doesn’t matter if you believe one of the things he said, all of the things he said or none of them. Nobody wants a guy like that at their Thanksgiving.

The correct way to approach Thanksgiving with your family is to act like you’re walking through a minefield (because you are). Everything you do and everything you say must be done with extreme caution so not to detonate any of the mines that’ll start an all out war. That means no big foot talk, no aliens talk, no Jeffrey Epstein talk and absolutely at no point do you ever bring up Russia meddling in our elections. That mine is more like a nuclear bomb. I had never heard the thing about swimming pools, so that’s an interesting one but still, don’t talk about that either. Again, you are in a minefield surrounded by loved ones who you don’t wanna know anything about. Step wisely and you’ll come out the other side in one piece.


The guy in the video above takes the complete opposite approach. He rolls through the minefield like a barrel, hitting as many controversial topics as he can over the span of dinner and everyone hates him for it. All everyone wants to do on Thanksgiving is pack their body with meat and gravy and pie and booze and drift off to sleep on the couch while watching football. That’s it, it’s really that simple. Anyone who deviates from that plan is a menace to society.

This dude was my favorite. He was far too stoned to be dealing with his brother’s shit and wanted to teleport to anywhere but that table

Screen Shot 2019-11-29 at 1.17.59 PM

(although I guarantee he’s got some interesting thoughts on Jeffrey Epstein but he’s smart enough to know there’s a time and a place for those conversations)