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I Could Listen to Belichick Talk About Social Media All Day

So last night's football game involved one of the most controversial and talked about moments of the season? So there's not a man, woman or child among us who didn't wake up this morning, grab the phone or tablet off the nightstand and immediately start combing through the interwebs for reactions and share their own? 

Leave it to Bill Belichick to reduce our existence to the utterly meaningless exercise in futility that it is:

Q: "So it's pretty normal for you to go on your SnapFace every morning?

Belichick: "Pretty much. See what happened. Check it out. Absolutely. Interact with everybody, see what they think, get my opinions out there. I don’t want to get left behind on that. Yeah. Yeah. Then I brush my teeth.”

Goddammit. For all his mockery of how the rest of us live our lives on SnapFace and YouFace and InstaFace and Pandorama, he's right. To a higher being such as himself, all our interactions must look like absurdist comedy. It's as if he's an anthropologist studying some primitive, ancient tribe that hadn't discovered the wheel yet. He must feel like a zoo patron, watching monkeys fling poop at each other and play with their own dongs. Or worse, like he's a highly evolved species of alien looking down on us like we've barely sprouted legs and slithered out of the primordial ooze. 

I mean, just imagine how preposterous the concept of 20-year-old Instagram influencers must be on a man who's been having a profound influence on his profession since 1975. And there's no arguing his point. No matter how much being on social media is a lifestyle none of us are ever going to be able to give up, it's ridiculous. A colossal waste of our time and energy. And if we weren't already addicted to watching Tik Tok videos, expressing ourselves in "The Office" GIFs and hearing what news story our relatives are pissed off about now on Facebook, maybe we'd all have cured cancer or designed an engine that runs on water by now. Belichick does nothing but savagely ridicule our cyber narcissism. And while the rest of us are perfecting our optimal seflie angle, he's built a Dynasty from scratch. 

Yes, he's reduced a major part of our everyday lives to the empty nihilism it is, but I'm not offended. Nor am I about to change. I'm just glad he is where his, doing what he does, while the rest of us act like idiots in his eyes.