NYC Hairdresser Offers $150 "Get Me Laid" Haircut

NY Post - Manhattan hairdresser Mischa G laughs out loud at the grateful message from a client thanking her for the look she crafted for him the previous day. “Your haircut got me a threesome!” texts Philip McElroy, a 21-year-old Hunter College student. A few seconds later, he follows up with: “Next time, I’ll give you a bigger tip!”  Reviews like this are all in a day’s work for the Bumble and Bumble stylist, who sported a distinctive bright yellow-dyed beehive when she spoke with The Post but likes to change up her look every day. Thirty-year-old Mischa Gobie (professionally, she goes by the initial G for her last name) is the creator of “The Get Laid Haircut,” a term she coined herself. Unlike “The Rachel,” “The Kate” or “The Clooney,” the GLH is not modeled on a celebrity. “The look” varies from person to person, and might include a sultry bang here, a straytendril there. Ask any Mischa devotee and they’ll swear it gets results in the bedroom. Fireworks might not necessarily explode the same day — “actually, most people find they look their best after it [the style] has settled down a bit on day two or day three,” she stresses. New York City matchmaker Amy Van Doran is so convinced by the powers of “The Get Laid Haircut,” she instructs all her clients to shell out $110 for the complete cut and blow-out package, which usually amounts to $150 including tip, before sending them out on dates. “She just has this amazing talent for knowing what will flatter the shape of their face and bone structure,” says Van Doren. The duo has a quid-pro-quo arrangement wherein they send business each other’s way.

I’m in a bad place barber wise. Bad place. When I was younger I used to shave my head so I was able to just cut it myself. But now that I’m like late 20s and still have a head of hair I gotta flaunt that shit. Guys my age and into their 30s need to have hair to separate them from the poor bastards that are going bald. Problem is I haven’t found a good barber in the past like 5 years. I don’t think I’ve been happy with my barber since Benny cut my hair on 5th Avenue in Pelham, New York. I used to sit in that fucking red fire engine, eat about 500 lollipops, and Benny would trim me up real nice.

But since then its been a revolving door of barber shops and girly salons that just never work. There is nothing worse than that feeling of sitting in a barbershop chair knowing someone is about to butcher your head. And the sickest part is you just let it happen, right? You’re ask them “not too short” and they nod and grab the clippers and rather than stopping them you let them just destroy your head. For some reason you just get paralyzed and let them do whatever the fuck they want to your hair. I’ve always wanted to pull the trigger and get one of those “Memberships” at one of those mens club places like John Allen but maybe I should just go with this Mischa G chick. Maybe I just pony up a buck fifty and get a Get Me Laid haircut. I’m curious if the $150 haircut somehow alters my incredibly out of shape body, as I’m pretty sure thats the biggest barrier of entry to me getting laid. Also a little bit concerned taking hair advice from a chick with yellow lettuce. Thats like taking diet tips from a fat bitch. But whatever! Your boy is desperate.