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New Restaurant In Brooklyn Has "No Talking" Policy

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Fox NewsThe latest in New York City dining? Eating in silence. A restaurant in Brooklyn’s trendy Greenpoint neighborhood is serving up a four-course meal of organic, locally-sourced food, but isn’t allowing any chit-chat. ‘Eat’ restaurant chef Nicholas Nauman says he was inspired to put on the occasional ‘No Talking’ affairs after spending time with Buddhist monks in India. He says the silence allows customers a chance to better experience the food. The restaurant’s Facebook page says seats fill up fast at the no talking meals.  It costs $40 for 4 courses. Editor-in-Chief Tanya Steel says the silent eating experience sounds like yet another facet of the sensory-dining eating out fad. Some restaurants offer diners the chance to consume in the dark. Other gastronomical joints feature the ability to consume not just the food – but the menu on which it is described.

Now I’m sure a bunch of guys out there will be like “Hey! Perfect date spot! You don’t have to listen to her yap all night long!” And that might be good for some Wocka Wocka Wocka laughs. But this stupid fucking idea runs deeper than just some “Girls don’t stop talking” blog. This “No Talking” so that you can “experience the food” is the most obnoxious, pretentious, Brooklyn hipster idea I’ve ever fucking heard. “Foodies” might be the single biggest group of assholes in the world. Like oh you love food? So do I bro. I eat food in order to survive. Pretty sure we’re all fucking foodies. Foodie is just a stupid made up term for a food snob who thinks food needs to be fancy or rare or unique in order to be deemed good. That eating food is some sort of spiritual, existential experience that the common man just can’t appreciate. Suck my dick foodies. Seriously I’m going to institute a No Talking policy while you blow me you High Horse dickheads. If I wanna eat my peanut butter and jelly while I chat or watch TVs that doesn’t mean I’m unsophisticated or something. If I eat cheesesteaks and tater tots for dinner while talking and eat a donut for dessert, guess what? I enjoyed my meal just as much as you and your loser hipster monk friends who ate overprice weird shit in silence because you’re food hardos.

I wanna go down there with a fucking boom box and the loudest most annoying girl I can find in New York City. Just like Elaine when she gets to the front of the line at the Soup Nazi’s. Break all the rules on purpose just to spite the assholes that run the place. Fuck Foodies and their holier than thou shtick. Everyone loves a good meal and if I wanna talk while I eat, I’m gonna fucking talk.