So earlier today KenJac (who now looks suspiciously like Gardiner Minshew, you’ll see) came up to my desk holding an apple, a bunch of plastic forks and said, “You wanna make a video?” I wanna stop right there and say you never know what the hell to expect when KenJac wants to make a video with you. Why? Because this is a man who voluntarily throws himself into the deepest darkest corners of TikTok just for the hell of it. Few people on God’s green earth have seen even half the amount of horrifying and disgusting things KenJac’s eyes have witnessed. You never truly know what you’re getting yourself into with him.
He said the video would indeed be for TikTok which made me even less comfortable but I agreed to do it because why the hell not. KenJac then quickly recruited PFT and Feitelberg to join in. Little did I know that agreeing to do KenJac’s apple video would change my life forever.
The goal was simple, throw the apple around the four of us, stab it with a plastic fork and catch it each time without it hitting the floor. I had never heard of this but apparently it’s called AppleFork (makes sense) and is a thing people are doing/have been doing on the internet for awhile now. The difference is all the other videos I saw they were using metal forks which seemingly makes the feat a lot easier.
We tried it a couple times and failed. It’s way fucking harder than you think it is especially with plastic forks that bend all over the place. Not to mention the apple starts to get soft and squishy the more times it hurts the floor which you would think makes it easier but it doesn’t.
Then this is happened
Success followed by pure bliss. We went all the way around the circle stabbing that goddamn apple with our plastic forks and I really felt like we had won the championship. What championship, you ask? Not sure but we won it. I will forever share a bond with those three men because of today.
Feits’ face being almost as red as the apple speaks to the pressure we were all under
Another successful day at the salt mines.