Barstool’s Champions League Preview + Predictions – Matchday 1(b)
Sam’s Soccer Safe Space For Stoolies
Hi haters,
Champions League is BACK for more but before we get to that what I am going to need is for everybody to doff your cap, put your hand over your heart, and give thanks for this wonderful day:
Hopefully we ALL learned a valuable lesson yesterday – most importantly Chelsea and Frank Lampard:
Now without further ado let’s take a look at the same on deck today… after our daily dose of babymaking music:
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CHAMPIONS LEAGUE
I offered up a very quick and extremely dirty preview of the eight groups yesterday, so for those that missed it here is the link:
Barstool’s Guide to Champions League Group Stage – Preview + Predictions
For anyone living under a rock here are the scores from yesterday:
And schedule for today:
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WEDNESDAY’S PICKS
PSG [+120]
Real Madrid [+200]
Draw [+250]
Big ticket match-up between Champions League quarterfinal aspirants. Definitely the highest profile match of the day, but nottttttttttttttt necessarily the highest quality. The amount of talent on these teams is somewhat mind-bottling. Mbappe, Neymar, Cavani and Draxler on one side. Hazard, Isco, Modric, Asencio, Marcelo and Ramos on the other. Despite all the hype, however, this one may not live up to billing… in part because everybody I just named above will NOT be playing either due to injury or suspension. (Note: I could potentially have included Gareth Bale in that list since Zidane hates his guts and would bench his ass for so much as a sideways glance if he had a choice.)
The strongest case for going with PSG in this game, apart from the slow moving train wreck-cum-soap opera that Real Madrid has become, is Keylor Navas. Madrid did him dirty af and you know he wants revenge today. I just can’t do it though – not with how terrible the Frenchies looked this weekend against Strasbourg, needing a last second bicycle kick by Neymar to save them.
Unfortunately Neymar ain’t walking through that door today, and the odds on the Madridistas are just a little too tasty to pass up. Real Madrid to win 2-1 on goals from Big Benz and Bad Boy Bale.
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Atletico [+135]
Juventus [+190]
Draw [+195]
People sure do love to bring up past encounters between two clubs from previous seasons and use them to justify predictions about a game that is about to be played. This is often silly because – especially these days with the hyper-active transfer windows – teams at this level typically undergo a lot of changes (to say nothing of the impact of injuries and suspensions).
That said, this is one of those game where past performance IS in fact at least a little indicative of future results. Atleti and Juve faced off in the Champions League R16 last spring and the squads bear a strong resemblance to those that played one another. Don’t remember what happened? Gotchoo fam:
Juventus will be without Giorgio Chiellini and Douglas Costa in the back, while Diego Simeone will essentially be replacing Alvaro Morata with wonderboy Joao Felix… so, yeah, I’m going with the Spanish at home. Atletico to win 2-0.
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Some other picks in the hopes that I eventually get one right:
• Olympiacos 1-3 TOTTENHAM – Still nervous about Spurs’ defense but with the transfer window nonsense done and dusted (for a few months) Poch has the team back on the straight and narrow. Is this the absolutely perfect time for a quintessential and inexplicable Spursy bed-shitting performance? Why, yes, yes it is. But this time is different……… . . . . . . . . . . .
• Shakhtar 2-3 CITY – Won’t lie. Don’t love City right now. No Laporte and now no Stone is a real problem. Fernandinho (I guess?) will have to deputize at CB, and I’m sure he’ll do okay, but him plus Otamendi is NOT a recipe for the kind of lockdown defense that was City’s failsafe over the last two seasons. Shakhtar can score, and probably will given what they are up against… but I’ll give Pep the benefit of the doubt and say he can muster up enough offense to get the win. Definitely don’t love it though.
• BAYER 1-0 Lokomotiv – Zese Germans have been all over the damn place this season, outscoring Paderborn and Fortuna before being held scoreless by Hoffenheim and getting their asses handed to them by Dortmund. In other words I’m not exactly sure what to expect from them but thankfully Lokomotiv are highly predictable in that you can be damn sure it will be a low-scoring affair. Hammer the under? Not the worst idea.
• Dinamo Zagreb 0-2 ATALANTA – The Croats have to be a little rusty after playing a only a smattering of games over the past month whereas Atalanta are rounding back into regular season form. Loving the Italians in this one.
• BAYERN 3-0 Red Star – The Serbs are always good for at least one “WTF was that?” upset… visiting the Allianz probably aint that game though.
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Reminder: another biggggggggg slate tomorrow… kidding, it’s just Europa.
More importantly we got a big weekend ahead so tune in to the podcast that will be dropping tomorrow and stay woke for a weekend preview coming on Friday, featuring:
Holler,
Samuel Army