Gleyber Torres' Grand Slam To Beat The Sox Was Pure Yankees Porn

Yankees 4 Red Sox 2

That Gleyber Torres grand slam was orgasmic. O-R-G-A-S-M-I-C. I debated ending the blog right here, instead we’ll go a few more sentences because I like you guys.

The Red Sox looked really good last weekend. Thursday through Saturday they looked like a real team. That fairy dust faded away on Sunday night when Domingo German shoved his nuts down their throat and Chris Sale got shelled. Since Saturday Boston has dropped five (5) games in a row. They’ve played themselves completely out of the AL East division race. And they might be cementing their 2019 future after this Sunday night, if this continues. They look finished. Ready to be thrown into their grave.

The Yankees, on the flip side, are right back on track. Despite all of the starting pitching worries, James Paxton showed up on Friday night. His six inning performance was all we could have ever asked for. We’ve been begging for this for MONTHS. Tonight, after a tough first inning (again), the Big Maple got his shit together and turned in a very good outing: 6 IP 2H 2ER 6 Ks. That’s literally ALL we need from him. Good for you James. Kahnle-Britton-Chapman combined to give up one baserunner in the final three frames. You would have thought it’d be impossible for the Yankees to hold a team to two runs, but they sure fucking did tonight. It was beautiful to watch.

Let’s keep it going tomorrow. Step on their goddamn throats. Bury the Boston Red Sox.

P.S. If you’re not betting “yes runs in the first inning” for James Paxton starts you’re simply losing out on free money. It’s the easiest bet on Planet Earth.