NEW: Bussin' With the Boys Dad Merch CollectionSHOP NOW

Advertisement

A Bigfoot Sighting is Blamed for a Shooting at a Campsite in Kentucky

SourceA weekend camping trip in Back Country at Mammoth Cave National Park quickly took a dramatic turn for one couple.

They were woken up in the middle of the night to strange noises and were met with an individual saying that something had destroyed their campsite.

Brad Ginn, one of the campers, said the individual also said “it was Bigfoot country which seemed a little weird that he would say that.”

The individual then informed them that he was searching for whatever had destroyed his campsite and warned them to be careful.

Madelyn Durand, a camper, said “He said I hope you have weapons and then he flashed his gun at us and was like ‘I have this so if anything happens to you then just yell and I’ll come.'”

The couple then decided to head back to their tent but moments later they heard gun shots. They dialed 9-1-1 and hiked 5 miles back to their car in the parking lot to meet up with the Park Rangers. …

Advertisement

Mammoth Cave would like the public to know there are not any ongoing threats to the park and it is safe to visit.

This is so typical. A Bigfoot is running around destroying campsites and everyone is worried about the one guy doing what it takes to protect lives and property. Way to miss the big picture, Brad Ginn and the Park Rangers.

Listen, I’m not shy about admitting that my No. 1 scariest archetype is the Hillbilly. Ever since I saw “Deliverance” as a kid I’ve been terrified by the idea of being confronted in the middle of nowhere by some gun-toting product of six generations of inbreeding with overalls and a case of Mountain Dew Mouth. But I’ll take facing a whole army of Cletus the Slack-jawed Yokel over one Sasquatch. Those things have been living undetected around the world ever since Australopithecus broke off from our family tree eons ago.  If you’re more worried about being deep in the woods with some hick carrying a shotgun, you’re missing the big picture.

Consider this story, told by my favorite historical figure, a man who was formed out of a solid block of pure testosterone and made guys you and me look like invertebrate, genderless earthworms:

The Bauman story comes from President Theodore Roosevelt’s 1892 book, The Wilderness Hunter, which describes an encounter between an ape man and a young frontiersman named Bauman. According to Roosevelt, Bauman and his partner were trapping along a remote stretch of Montana’s Wisdom River sometime in the mid-19th century. After building a lean-to and making camp in what seemed like an ideal spot for game, the two men began setting their traps. When they returned, they found their packs had been rummaged through and their shanty torn down. Undaunted, the men set about reconstructing their wilderness abode.

According to Roosevelt’s book, that night Bauman was awakened by the sound of rustling and the foul stench of a wild beast. He immediately rose up and fired a shot, and then heard something tearing off through the woods. He and his partner were unnerved by this and decided to abandon the camp at the first light of dawn.

Come morning, the two split up so that Bauman could gather the traps while his partner made camp downriver. Sadly, both would not make it home alive. When Bauman arrived at the new campsite, he found his partner sprawled on the ground with his necked snapped and a set of bite marks on his throat. He knew at once that the menacing forest beast was responsible, according to the story. The horrific sight sent him running — rifle in hand — never to return to the spot again.

And the only tracks they found indicated what attacked them did so on two legs. So go ahead and worry about the “crazy” guy shooting up the campsite if you want. I’ll take my chances with the heavily armed stranger than Bigfoot, thanks.