Le'Veon Bell Apologized To Fantasy Owners That Drafted Him Last Year And I Humbly Refuse To Accept His Apology As One Of Those Owners

First of all, let me say that it takes a big man to apologize for something that happened a year ago. So much shit has gone down in the NFL in 2019 alone, it’s easy to forget all the chaos of 2018. However, it takes a bigger man to decline that apology because he didn’t forget any of that stuff. And that bigger man is me, both literally and figuratively.

I would like it to be known this has absolutely nothing to do with the money Le’Veon may have cost me as any fantasy player in a league worth its salt knows being able to talk shit to your friends is worth a million pieces of paper with dead presidents on them. I also want to say I realize nobody cares about other peoples fantasy teams, so if you are the 90% of people that didn’t live through the Le’Veon Bell Nightmare of 2018, thank you for the click and hopefully I’ll have something better for you tomorrow. And if you are one of the Le’Veon Bell owners that lived through last year, congratulations for surviving that psychological warfare. If you want to close the blog now before reliving that hell, I fully understand. Here are some parting words for you.

The mental torture Le’Veon Bell unleashed on fantasy owners last year is unlike anything I have ever seen in my life and I have been playing fantasy football for so long, I once picked up Terrell Owens and Terrell Davis as rookies years. Am I saying I found these two diamonds in the rough lonnnnng before they were Hall of Famers to impress you? Of course not. If you are impressed, that’s fine. But I’m just trying to make a point about how wild this Le’Veon situation was.

Every single day it was a different report fucking with our heads. Was Le’Veon going to report when training camp started? The 2nd preseason game? The 3rd? Obviously not the 4th because no starters play in the 4th. But how about the day after the 4th? Was he going to play Week 1 in Cleveland? He reportedly wasn’t on the team bus and was rule out, but maybe he would show up on his own dime?

It got to the point where I actually started liking Steelers writers on Twitter that were optimistic about Le’Veon showing up and hated those were pessimistic (and right). Then Le’Veon was inactive Week 1. And 2. And 3. Then the hot rumor became Lev would return after Week 6 so he had the Bye in Week 7 to get into game shape. That then became the trade deadline on October 30th, which finally became November 13th as the last time Le’Veon could report to the Steelers and accrue enough time for it to be considered a year of service time for his free agency, which led to rock bottom for addicts like me that participated in #LeVeonWatchWatch where we watched the front door of the Steelers facility through a gate to see if Le’Veon was actually going to show up.

Finally for idiots like me that had Le’Veon in a keeper league, it became a whole game about the language in the CBA allowed Bell to become a free agent next season and if Pittsburgh could/would use the transition tag on him if they couldn’t use the franchise tag. Le’Veon going to one of the cursed teams of my lifetime was somehow a prize at the end of all this since it meant at least Le’Veon would at least be PLAYING somewhere this season, which turned me into the Alonzo Mourning gif for a full 24 hours.

In case that mental waterboarding wasn’t bad enough, idiots like myself who didn’t draft/pick up James Conner had to root against him so the Steelers would beg for Le’Veon Bell comes back. Do you know how fucked up it is to root against a guy that beat cancer in college, got thrown into a starting role on a team with Super Bowl aspirations his second year in the league, and from all accounts is an awesome person? We already sell our souls enough by playing fantasy football. But rooting against a guy like James Connner just felt especially wrong and I will never forgive Le’Veon for that one bit. #NeverForget #ThankMeForMyService

That being said, the league I had Le’Veon in is a keeper league and I never dropped him because he’s still Le’Veon fucking Bell and he makes me feel feelings I didn’t know were possible while watching random numbers rise in my stat tracker during Steelers games. So if Bell comes through on this promise of a fantasy championship, all is forgiven because I haven’t forgotten just how absurd a full functional Lev Bell is.

Now lets check in to see how my other keeper is doing right now.

Welcome to the Pain Train, Zeke owners! God I fucking hate fantasy football yet it is all I will think/care about for the next 5 months, especially since the Giants may be DOA.