I Believe That All Presidential Elections Should Come Down To A Push-Up Contest
Fox News – Presidential candidate Joe Biden said he would challenge President Trump to a push-up contest on-air if the commander-in-chief questions his physical or mental faculties on the 2020 debate stage.
Biden appeared on “Morning Joe” for a Tuesday interview with co-host Mika Brzezinskiand said he would immediately retaliate if Trump started poking fun at his behavior.
“I would say, come on Donald, come on, man. How many push-ups do you want to do here, pal? I mean jokingly,” Biden said.
Okay so first of all if we don’t get to see a Trump vs Biden Push Up Competition, then the America that we once all knew and loved is gone forever. You might as well just start calling us West France from now on. Because back in the America that I grew up in–if somebody challenged you to a push up competition, you both hit the ground and you got going right then and there. It didn’t matter if the person was initially “joking” or not. He called you out and said he could do more push ups than you, which makes it your duty as an American to kick his ass and bust out a quick 50 before he can even finish 10.
But either way, I think Joe Biden has a point here. I know he says that he is joking but from my experience here on planet Earth, I believe there is some truth behind every jest. And the truth here is that a push-up contest should at least be factored into every Presidential election. Why wouldn’t it be? Don’t we want the biggest, baddest, toughest son of a bitch sitting in the Oval Office? When shit goes down and the world is in chaos, we need somebody sitting in that office who can roll up their sleeves and do a little ass kicking themselves. At the very least, I think you should at least have to pass a push-up test to get elected. Maybe you don’t necessarily have to win the contest but you should at least have to hit a certain number. We can’t have any ol’ twig-armed nerd becoming the leader of the Free World. We need our President to be clangin’ and bangin’ those weights in the gym. We need our President to be eating a steady diet of iron for breakfast, iron for lunch, and iron for dinner. Eat clean, train dirty. Everybody wants to be the President, but don’t nobody want to lift that heavy ass weight. It’s time to make a change.
We can still have all of the debates. We can still let everyone talk about policy and all that nerd shit. But how’s about we sprinkle in a little physical activity as well? Push-ups, bench press, squats, and maybe a 2-mile run. And here’s the final kicker–no testing for PEDs. You can take all the steroids you want. Who wants it more?