Gleyber Torres Put The New York Yankees On His Motherfuckin' Back And Saved Us From Misery

Yankees 8 Orioles 4

THANK GOD for this man. Without Gleyber Torres the Yankees would be 2-5, with another loss to the fucking Orioles. I know it’s so early, but I can’t lose to this team anymore. I can’t do it for my sanity. We needed a win like today so everyone could take a big sigh of relief.

Gleyber came to the ballpark today ready to put the team on his back and he did just that. He showed flashes of the guy we fell in love in the first half of last season. That’s not to say his second half wasn’t good, but in that first half he was an impossible out. You could not get him out today no matter what you threw at him. He is a hero amongst heroes, and is the reason I am going home able to eat dinner. Thank you my friend. There was a real point today where I didn’t think I was going to be able to eat until Saturday night, with the off day tomorrow. Phew!

Some are saying I’m the hero New York needs, but not the one it deserves. I’m just doing what I can to will this team into beating a baseball team that shouldn’t win more than 50 games. Desperate times call for desperate measures. We needed this win today BADLY and maybe Gleyber’s big day could be the spark that lights the fire.

James Paxton had a brutal first inning that saw him throw 30+ pitches and allow three runs. He couldn’t find the zone and mixed in a balk for good measure. He managed to stick around for 5.1 innings, but left the game trailing 4-1. Tommy Kahnle stepped up big time today as the bridge to the later innings. He entered with a man on and one out, but was able to get a huge double play ball to escape trouble. He will be our David Robertson this year, but I love him. He came out again for the 7th (a move I scratched my head at) and retired the side in order. This was a MASSIVE game for Kahnle’s confidence and reminded us just how reliable he can be, like in 2017 when he was a horse. A healthy bulldog Tommy Kahnle just makes this bullpen that much scarier.

Luke Voit opened the flood gates late with a three run bomb in the 9th. I cannot stress enough how much Luke needed that homer. I can’t stress enough how much I needed that homer. Let’s go back to the home run monster that we all know and love, deal? Deal.

Am I nervous that anytime this team is in the shitter moving forward I’m going to be asked to do a hunger strike? Yes, yes I’m nervous. Not eating until 5:00 today was not fun. I felt like Kemba Walker Shabazz Napier in college at UCONN.

Anyways, good win the Sox are getting rocked out in Oakland but the good news is that JBJ made a really sick catch. They don’t call him the best defensive center fielder in the history of the game for nothing.

Brand new Short Porch is out today. Tommy and I let out our frustrations and it felt great. We yelled a lot, but it was therapeutic. Subscibe and download before.