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Garfield Has Been Terrorizing A Beach In France Since 1980

(BBC) – Since the 1980s, the Iroise coast in Brittany has received a supply of bright orange landline novelty phones shaped like the famous cartoon cat.

Anti-litter campaigners have been collecting fragments of the feline for years as they clean the beaches. But now, the source of the problem has been found – a lost shipping container.

The beach-cleaning teams had long suspected that a lost shipping container – perhaps blown overboard – had regurgitated its precious orange cargo. But they had never been able to find it.

The media attention on the new campaign, however, drew the eye of a local farmer who remembered the first téléphone Garfield appearing after a storm in the early 1980s, when he was a young man. He also knew the location of the container – in a secluded sea cave accessible only at low tide.

This Garfield phone story has been all over the web the last two days but I haven’t seen anyone asking the important, correct questions. What other secrets is this farmer harboring? Does he shelter enemies of the state in his barn? Is his wife Amelia Earhart? How are you just gonna sit idly by as one of these “well nobody asked me” jackasses while the ocean continues to get dominated with plastic? Aren’t farmers supposed to be super-pro-environment since it’s so pivotal to their livelihood? Meanwhile Farmer Jacque over here just kept watching his local beach get bombarded with plastic Garfields and kept some useful information to himself.

I don’t want to get all Butterfly Effect on you here but it would not surprise me in the slightest if Garfield was the reason the polar ice caps were melting. If this guy in 1980 had just told, I don’t know, literally anyone else about this massive shipping container trapped in a cave that the global ecosystem would be flourishing as we speak. Instead, the next generation wont even have polar bears in their Christmas Coca-Cola commercials. Sad. Way to drop the ball on this one, France.