I don’t know what Jimmy Kimmel was so surprised about. Because no living being on Earth is having a better time with his/her time on this spinning blue marble than Charles Barkley. So of course he’s going to be close personal bestest buddies with Bill Belichick. To be brutally honest, I don’t get how anyone could life a rich, full life and not be Belichick’s pal. And believe me, I speak from experience.
Have we already forgotten the time the Patriots beat the Colts in the playoffs when Andrew Luck threw four interceptions and nobody could tackle LeGarrette Blount so he had four touchdowns and like a thousand yards and Barkley showed up shitfaced in the Pats’ locker room?
It’s only natural he’d be Belichick’s invited guest at a Super Bowl practice in Atlanta. And discover for himself what everyone in New England understands. That to glimpse Tom Brady’s eyes is to enter a realm where science and magic are one in the same. They are a window into a void in time and space in which all the questions get answered and every wish, no matter how fanciful, comes true. Tom Brady’s eyes are a dreamworld in which the line between existence and fantasy disappears and all your grandest hopes become your reality. A place of mythical creatures and peace and happiness and everyone you’ve ever loved feeling every good feeling you’ve ever had. And single high safeties following those eyes to bite on the pump fake and leave a receiver open up the seam with a step on the linebacker for the score.
I mean, Barkley didn’t literally say that. It was a short interview. But you know he meant it. And anyone who’s ever looked into Brady’s eyes knows of what I speak.