Gronk Says He Took a Beer Off the Head but Also Mentions 'Next Season'

Everybody knows that guy who starts a conversation with “Hold on. I’ve got a story.” And your first thought is “I’ll be the judge of that” because of past experience with the boring son of a bitch. Well, Rob Gronkowski is one of those guys who when he says it, you give him your undivided attention because you know he’s going to deliver. He just leads one of those lives that doesn’t have one boring minute so how could his stories be?

I’d have to say, the highlight of this one for me was him meaning to say people were throwing nip bottles but it came out “nipple shots.” Which I think we can safely chalk up to him seeing a lot more of the latter than the former since the day he walked onto the campus at Arizona.

Next, obviously, is him taking a beer can off the melon:

Which makes me wonder if this really is the end for him. Because Prime Years Gronk when his catch radius was wider than two Duckboats, say 2014 Gronk when he had 5.5 Receptions per Game or 2011 Gronk when his Catch Percentage was north of 72? Those Gronks would’ve had those in their hip pockets. But that unfortunate scar is indicative of how beaten down he’s been after 10 years of abuse the officials never call.

On the other hand, just as you think maybe this is the end for him, he let this little Money Shot slip out:

So … do we read anything into that? Is that him actually talking about next season or just guys talking on an emotional ride through the city buzzed on a Tuesday morning in the middle of a flying beer storm? I spent all last offseason trying to decipher Gronkspeak like an Enigma Codebreaker, and thought I’d hate having to spend the next few weeks doing the same.

But if this does turn out to be it, at least it will be for the right reasons. Because his body has giving all it can and he brought his teammates and the beer-tossing city that loves him another ring. And not because he’s miserable and the coach made fun of his training methods in front of the team. We’ll see. In the meantime, if anyone throws a beer at him, make sure he’s squared up and showing you his numbers, then put a little touch on it.