US Soccer Loses To Honduras, Honduras Not Happy With Me

So the US Soccer team lost yesterday to fucking Honduras. They’re like the worst team in the United States’ group and now we gotta play all the good teams and we might not even make the World Cup or some shit. Fucking Honduras! I think I “sponsor” their goalie for like 60 cents a day! Anyway I sent this tweet out, and the people of Honduras are none too pleased with me.

Honduras comin in hot! I particularly like the girl who explained “Honduras have the best players than you” and the chick who called me an HDLGP. Apparently that stands for Hijo De La Gran Puta? Which roughly translates to “son of a whore.” Nice touch. Also that one tweet where the chick said I lack education and general culture was a gem too. Anyway this was just a handful of responses I got all night long. People just babbling in Spanish or Japanese or whatever the fuck they speak in Honduras. Kind of a milestone for me. First time I’ve taken my hate international. I’ve battled the Blindos. Asians. Unicycle riders. The list goes on. But I’ve never had an foreign battle. Just taking this hate fest overseas one ignorant comment at a time.

So fuck you Honduras! All your plantains and huts and shit. Relish this victory because at the end of the day its Americans who probably sponsor your daily clean water. Enjoy your San Francisco 49ers Super Bowl Champions t shirts! I’ll be up here in the First World with all my hormones. USA! USA!

PS – A+ job by that last guy. “I know it hurts pussy boy!” is great stuff. Probably the most clever guy from Honduras.