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Noted Cake Eater Adam Banks Wearing Rental Skates Just Completely Ruined My Childhood


So yesterday I wrote a blog titled “Hopefully This Mighty Ducks Reunion Means That A D4 Is In The Works”. I wrote that blog after seeing a picture of Adam Banks, Guy Germaine, Julie The Cat, Russ Tyler and Tommy Duncan all together in a suite at the Ducks vs Islanders game on Sunday night. Unfortunately–and it is with an extremely heavy heart that I must say this–I have to take that blog back. Because today I saw a picture of some of the Ducks back out on the ice together for the first time. And what I saw? Well it was truly heart breaking and soul shattering.

That photo right there just destroyed everything that I have ever believed in. Seeing Adam Banks wear a pair of rental skates is like finding out that Santa Claus isn’t real. You think Gretzky would ever be caught dead wearing a pair of rentals? Crosby? McDavid? Not a chance. Even if those guys weren’t skating on their home rink and didn’t have their actual skates with them, they’d still have a fresh pair waiting for them at whatever rink they were skating at. And Adam Banks was on that level. He was supposed to be the next Great One. The best hockey player in the world at his age. And to see him out there now in rental skates? It’s just devastating.

I really don’t know if I’d want to see a D4: The Mighty Ducks movie after this. I mean obviously he can still wheel around out there as demonstrated right here.

Decent handles. Kicks the puck out to himself and then you can hear him absolute torch that back bar with his shot, so he can still bring it in that regards. But you still can’t be wearing rental skates if you’re the best hockey player in the world. Leave that shit to the Averman’s out there.

Also looks like they’re doing some sort of filming with either the Ducks or the NHL or both. Either way, they couldn’t hook these guys up with a fresh set of wheels? I know that skates are crazy expensive these days but c’mon. It’s just disrespectful. Cake eaters.

h/t Danny Tamborelli