BREAKING: Steelers RB LeVeon Bell Is Back In Action!!!

Gotcha! Clickbait Smits is rubbing off on everyone, I guess. Including myself. Hey, if people can STILL get away with insinuating a hot smokeshow in the headline then clickbait the reader with an old bag of bones and get away with it, anything goes. No moral compass in this here Pageviews game. But what a hilarious thought it is thinking about superstar RB LeVeon Bell playing basketball at the local gym with a few Tom’s, Dick’s, and Harry’s. Men whose previous highlights of the month included closing out a big life insurance deals or finding the lost remote between the couch cushions. It certainly would suck for Fantasy owners if their #2 overall pick is (possibly) about to come back and he ends up shattering his shit. It wouldn’t happen though. This isn’t spaz-honk Aaron Boone we’re talking about playing with a knee held together by Twizzlers on the court. This is one of the most athletic specimans on Earth playing against a bunch of cube monkies. I think Bell will be just fine.

In fact, it’s not fair for pro-athletes, past and present to take it out on us normals at public courts. Actually, it’s possibly inhumane. I mean, just look at Shaq Daddy here. He used to ragdoll the likes of Dikembe Mutumbo all over the place on the hardwood and here he is backing down some poor schlub to hell while the world watches. Come on, Kazaam. Show some mercy.

That goes for you too, Todd Gurley. No need to make some poor guy’s knee somehow go East and West at the same time.