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Barstool Softball UPDATE: Carrabis Mutinied Against Smitty And Poached All Of His Players... So Long Live The Barstool Firefrogs?

“At the end the day, you look at our lineup… It’s better than your lineup.” -Jared Carrabis

Unless you’ve been hiding under a rock or are one of the few blessed souls who didn’t have to hear about intramural softball for a week straight you know that the Barstool Softball team has been RIDDLED with controversy since this unclean Tweet was fired off late last week.

Which led to Carrabis hiring an actual MLBPA certified agent to deal with his impending free agency, as no self respecting Saugus man would ever allow himself to bat 8th or lower in a slow pitch softball league. Route 1 baseball fucks. Believe that.

But somehow the Twitter war bled over to our Fortnite Friday Twitch stream, featuring a live announcement of the mutiny no one saw coming, most especially Smitty. Like a Mayflower truck in the dead of night, Carrabis formed the Barstool Firefrogs behind the leadership of one Coley Mick… And proceeded to poach every piece of high priced softball talent inside Barstool HQ. Big Slim Daddy Trent wasn’t a fan of the inner company slow pitch strife, but I gotta admit it was a pretty exhilarating rollercoaster ride.

When Jared was cutting that mutiny promo and staring directly into the camera aka Smitty’s Full Hardo soul, it felt like Mean Gene Okerlund himself was about to rise out of the grave directly into a Gametime interview. How could he not with an office atmosphere fraught with such pure electricity? Carrabis wasn’t out there to be the leader of this new softball team, he was out there to prove he was simply the ULTIMATE competitor…

Two warriors married to the game folks. And unlike Tex, I will not hate the player in this circumstance. And it’s not just because we’re both Saugus boys, BORN AND BRED. Baseball Title Town motherfuckers… Goddamn Kowloons for life. OAKLANDVALE GRADE 2 STAND UP!

It’s because Carrabis just went full pirate ship on everyone’s softball ass. Smitty and OMB will be fine and figure it out I’m sure, and as a former FF I truly wish them the best too. Before Big Cat signed with Coley 5 minutes later, I was the 1st ever starting pitcher for the Firefrogs. It was a time I’ll always cherish and I’m honored to have a front row seat for history. Cause you know what? Them Firefrogs are gonna fuck shit up boy, aw yea.

And if they don’t then well, fuck YOU for thinking it even matters. I moved to Georgetown in 3rd grade anyway. Cue the music!

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