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Rate That Theft - Cleaning Crew Steals 200 Dollars Out Of My Wallet Last Night

Time for everyone’s favorite game, RATE THAT THEFT! So the Barstool vs cleaning crew car wages on. I think this is the third cleaning person who has stolen something from us, so in that respect I guess I’m to blame for leaving my wallet on my desk, that is if we weren’t a staunchily anti-victim blaming blog, which we are.

Here’s the crazy part though. We tell every new cleaning crew that they are being recorded AT ALL TIMES. Give them a whole speech and say it over and over. Make it clear that every inch of this office has a camera on it and it rolls 24/7/365. Yet here we are, another theft. The thing that really kills me too is that Ive had conversations with this guy. We tape PMT late at night, especially on Sundays, so I was just 30 feet away from him in the podcast studio during this theft. Thought we were friends, thought we shared that graveyard shift camaraderie. Guess not.

So the question is, what do you rate this theft. It was pretty clear he knew the cameras were right there (I assume thats why he did the whole sweeping the money out of the wallet instead of just taking it out with his hands thing) but then again he wasn’t smart enough to remind himself that means the cameras are RIGHT THERE. I give him a 7.5 for thinking outside the box with the sweep/foot action. Points deducted for not leaving a little cash so that I wouldn’t notice and leaving a couple stray 1’s on the floor by my pile as evidence. Overall, pretty good theft, not the best, not the worst. Also think he took my health insurance card, good thing seeing the doctor is for losers.

VOTE!*

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PS
I actually wouldn’t have noticed if I didn’t have a 100 dollar bill in my wallet. When you have a 100 dollar bill in your wallet your whole vibe changes. You walk with an extra pep in your step. Feel like a masculine man. So when I came back and saw no 100, I knew. He not only stole cash, he stole my 100 dollar bill shine. Very sad.

*I don’t know how to do polls.