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Quick Recap Of Barstool News Network's Flawless Election Coverage

The only people who had a better night than Trump was BNN. We correctly called every single state hours before the “main stream media” did. We nailed every single state. We called Trump the victor at 11:30. Glenny Balls was lights out in Times Square. My dad was unknowingly put in the Electric Chair. We even had Canadian guys ready to welcome disgruntled Americans. Other than the fact our facebook and periscope feeds kept cutting out it was a banner night to be a Stoolie.