Aaron Judge Deserves Nothing Less Than One Billion Dollars ($1,000,000,000)

Okay maybe some strong language at the top of this blog but just hear me out. I'm not advocating for your traditional free agency play but I can honestly see Steve Cohen forking over a minority interest in the hedge fund to get Aaron Judge's services. Has that been done before? I'm sure before the days of Free Agency, owners routinely hired players to work on their ranch in the offseason or sell cars or some part time bullshit. But I'm talking more about business partnerships in the modern era. Commercial real estate and energy holdings and international distribution channels. Put the portfolio on the table and I'm taking compound interest all day. If Steve Cohen truly and sincerely is willing to do whatever it takes, then maybe consider offering a piece of the actual pie in perpetuity. Given Judge's basic health profile and advances in modern medicine, there's really no shortchanging the net present value of his earning potential under my proposal. 

And to be clear I'm not saying he gets 47% and a corner office with view. A mere one percent of Point72 Asset Management (Cohen's company) yields around $20M a year based on my calculations. And keep in mind I just dropped a NPV on your ass so you know my numbers are sharp. Assume traditional market appreciation, sensible investing and the overall impact a Mets World Series Championship would generate for the fund and you can very easily see how that $20M starts adding up. 

Sound familiar? 

This is going much longer than I anticipated and that's because Aaron Judge just sucks you in. Absolute gorgeous looking baseball player with utterly sensational power. A man who told the Yankees to pound sand on a long-term extension because he was certain the market would offer him way more. Then he goes out and puts up the best offensive season since the polio vaccine was introduced, singlehandedly carrying the Yankees to a division championship and 1st round playoff bye. Mix in the MVP against Shohei  Ohtani at peak powers and you can safely rank Aaron Judge as the most attention worthy player in Major League Baseball. So if I want to throw some numbers on a napkin and treat it like a real plan for Steve Cohen to land Aaron Judge then that's well within my right as a steward of the game. Nothing's off the table if we're gonna sit down and talk about Aaron Judge. 

Other critical considerations of categorical importance include: 

- A couple of new segments: Albert Pujols is still doing shit. A Young Guy Does Something Amazing. How Much History Can St. Louis Witness In A Week. Aaron Judge Is Really Good At Baseball. I Don’t Like This Statistic But Let’s Use It Anyways. And a new personal favorite, We Need To Mention The Blue Jays Or Their Fans Get Cranky.

- Excuse me but so many major storylines are getting redundant. Like the NL East will absolutely come down to the last couple days. MLB changed the rules and botched some cupcake marketing opportunity. The Dodgers are amazing but anything can happen, etc. Stop me if any of that’s breaking news. Exactly. That's why I'm compelled to acknowledge that I'm acknowledging it. We're quite literally a week away from this turning into a completely different sport so thank you for the patience. 

- Even so – there’s still plenty of room for news to shock and awe. Like Framber Valdez’s stretch of 25 consecutive quality starts going back to mid-April. Which reminds me – does anyone really care about a quality start these days? Debatable. But do it 25 times in a row and you absolutely have my attention on a leash.

- Opposite that is an MLB record that’s arguably more impressive. Spencer Strider (Atlanta Braves, great mustache) just broke the MLB record for Fastest To 200 Strikeouts in a season. He did in slightly more than 130 innings. No other pitcher in the history of MLB has recorded 200 in less innings than the Braves rookie righty. 

- We spend a lot of time on both youngsters and interesting enough there’s some big crossover. Jake gets into the nuts and bolts of commanding a heavy sinker and the tradeoff with command and walk rates. And that’s the stuff I want to emphasize because anyone can sit here and suck off the fangraphs table. Not this podcast folks. We’re going out to the mound with a man that still has about 96 in the tank after a couple weeks of long toss. It shows in the quality of conversation.

- As for Strider, he’s not a real human being in my opinion. He just doesn’t make sense. We’re living in a simulation when a 4th rounder off Tommy John with basically no minor league experience is rewriting strikeout records. What makes him so good? One of us says tunnelling. Another because he’s a magical, mythical creature disguised as a professional baseball player. And again, great mustache. This time next year I won’t have to remind Joe Public that Spencer pitches for The Braves. Crazy to think many casual sports fans outside the NL East haven’t seen him throw a single pitch. That should soon change it will blow your tits off should such circumstance apply.

- In other news, there’s a fair amount of bro time to catch up on. A Bears trip to Lambeau. My 2nd place finish in the LIV Pro Am. A refocusing youth football team. Why Jake never wore sleeves regardless of the conditions. What about a raw dog? Of course there’s raw dogs.

Check out the show. We’re having Ken Rosenthal joins Thursday morning to talk about the state of MLB going into playoffs. 

Starting 9

25 videos

1
The Official MLB Free Agency Notebook - Predicting This Winter's Biggest Moves

The Official MLB Free Agency Notebook - Predicting This Winter's Biggest Moves

2
The World Series Preview Show

The World Series Preview Show

3
I Heard The Yankees Strongly Manipulated NYC Air Pressure Last Night To Generate The Nibostratus Clouds That Rained Out Game 5

I Heard The Yankees Strongly Manipulated NYC Air Pressure Last Night To Generate The Nibos...

4
Joe Girardi Has Balls (aka Testicles, Nutsack, Bag, etc.) The Size Of My Head

Joe Girardi Has Balls (aka Testicles, Nutsack, Bag, etc.) The Size Of My Head

5
Did Joe Musgrove Cheat Against The Mets?

Did Joe Musgrove Cheat Against The Mets?

6
The Atlanta Braves Are Now 60% More Likely To Win The World Series Than The New York Mets

The Atlanta Braves Are Now 60% More Likely To Win The World Series Than The New York Mets

7
There's No Way Albert Pujols Is Done Making 2022 His Bitch

There's No Way Albert Pujols Is Done Making 2022 His Bitch

8
Behind The Bow Tie: Ken Rosenthal Opens Up About The Current State Of MLB

Behind The Bow Tie: Ken Rosenthal Opens Up About The Current State Of MLB

Play Video
Aaron Judge Deserves Nothing Less Than One Billion Dollars ($1,000,000,000)Now Playing

Aaron Judge Deserves Nothing Less Than One Billion Dollars ($1,000,000,000)

10
MLB's Next MASSIVE Competitive Advantage Has Arrived And The Nerds Can't Do Anything About It

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What The Hell Happened To Josh Hader?

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13
Zack Greinke Gave Justin Turner Some Hitting Advice and His OBP Was Never The Same

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14
Albert Pujols Will Haunt Me FOREVER

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15
It's Downright Shocking To Me That Joe Davis Started His Broadcasting Career With The Schaumburg Flyers (And Never Got Paid)

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16
Breaking Down Everything You Need To Know About The Fernando Tatis Jr. Suspension

Breaking Down Everything You Need To Know About The Fernando Tatis Jr. Suspension

17
ATTENTION Yankees Fans: Stop Whining

ATTENTION Yankees Fans: Stop Whining

18
Hot Soup: NOBODY In MLB Is More Underrated Than Zac Gallen

Hot Soup: NOBODY In MLB Is More Underrated Than Zac Gallen

19
I Would Rather Get Speared To Death By Goldberg Than Play The Mets In A 7 Game Series

I Would Rather Get Speared To Death By Goldberg Than Play The Mets In A 7 Game Series

20
Eric Hosmer Would Have To Be A Certified MORON To Veto The Juan Soto Trade

Eric Hosmer Would Have To Be A Certified MORON To Veto The Juan Soto Trade

21
Scott Boras Came On Starting 9 Today And Destroyed The State Of Baseball

Scott Boras Came On Starting 9 Today And Destroyed The State Of Baseball

22
The Red Sox Are A Dumpster Fire + Liam Hendriks Is A Hall Of Fame Alpha

The Red Sox Are A Dumpster Fire + Liam Hendriks Is A Hall Of Fame Alpha

23
Announcement: Rob Manfred Is My New Best Friend

Announcement: Rob Manfred Is My New Best Friend

24
The (Cold Hard) Truth About Coors Field Is Much Different Than You Think

The (Cold Hard) Truth About Coors Field Is Much Different Than You Think

25
“WAR Is Actually Stupid” - Charlie Blackmon Destroys Your Grandpa’s Favorite Statistic

“WAR Is Actually Stupid” - Charlie Blackmon Destroys Your Grandpa’s Favorite Statistic