The Saga Of The Long Island Carpenter Fighting His Friends Because A Girl Left Her Underwear In His Car After Having Sex With Him On Molly

If you've ever been over emotional while high on drugs, looking for a fight because you just had sex with a stranger and things got ugly, boy is this story for you...

Over the weekend I got a text message from a dude I later learned was a carpenter from Long Island. It was either the wrong text, or somebody who had my number who was fucking with me. I personally believe its too strange and specific of a story to even make up, but regardless whether it was an accident or someone messing with me, it still provided me with some great content. He was looking for a fella named *Derrick (all names have been changed to protect the innocent). He was partying with *Derrick and a few chicks popping some molly. The Carpenter and one of these chicks ended up having sex in his car, and the aftermath of making love in his automobile on molly was a mess. It involved head butts and discarded underwear. And what ensued was a 30 minute text message therapy session involving myself and the Long Island Carpenter.

I dont know what happened for sure...only that I'm pretty sure I saved one, if not 2 lives this weekend with my advice. It was like a KFC Radio voicemail playing out in real life. Maybe I should become an actual therapist but only strictly for the trash bag people of the world. Thats a business that I'd imagine is THRIVING these days.