-Sometimes when you’re awake, your foot goes numb and “falls asleep.” So when you’re sleeping but your foot doesn’t have that numb feeling, is it asleep or awake?
-You can order the same meal as others at your table. I hate when people alter their orders because someone else got the same thing. Eat whatever you want. I think this is the case for any sized group. Even if it’s just two people and you both want the same meal, just get it.
-We’ve all seen the t-shirt girls wear that says “My eyes are up there ^” across their bosom. Well, here’s a million dollar idea: extremely large sunglasses that can fit the text: “My boobs are down there” with a down arrow. Pretty funny stuff.
-If a group of white gentlemen wanted Alexa to play a certain Jay Z and Kanye song about Paris, how would they go about doing so?
-I get incredibly overwhelmed whenever I walk into a large store. So many sections. So many aisles. I never know where to look for what I want. I just go straight to an employee and say “Where’s the ___?” Much easier than looking around myself like some kind of putz.
-I just don’t think I get enough credit for my impression of Tay Zonday singing “Chocolate Rain.”
(Please see video for my performance)
-A lot of people say they get “second hand embarrassment.” But you can’t get second hand embarrassment if there’s no first hand embarrassment. I think I’m just saying this because people often tell me they have second hand embarrassment for me, but I rarely am ever embarrassed myself.
-Why is weather the default topic for small talk? Probably because it’s something we know we all experience together, serving as a common ground that everyone can relate to no matter what.
-Whenever I misplace something, I immediately accuse other people of stealing it. It’s much easier than having any sort of accountability for my own irresponsibility.
-I wonder if anyone has ever won the lottery but didn’t realize it. Like they bought a lotto ticket with the winning numbers but forgot they bought it and didn’t check. That would suck.
Audience Thought Of The Week
If you have a thought you want to be included in this blog, hit me up on Twitter/Instagram @tomscibelli and I’ll include the best one of the week.
From @dirdyd13 on Instagram
-I hate when I buy a drink at a gas station/convenience store and they say “you know those are 2 for $3 today?” I only grabbed one because I only want one. Not looking for a good deal. I’m just thirsty for one drink.
Thank you for your time.