How To Stunt On The Haters On The First Day Of School Featuring Chaps And Clem

As everyone with a brain or a calendar knows, summer is unofficially over. Football is a reality once again, foolish people are reaching for their pumpkin spiced drinks, and the #GoPresGo crowd now has to deal with home room and teachers dirty looks. Back in my day, the VMAs, halloween candy in grocery stores, and this vile commercial dancing on our summer’s graves let you knew that the school train was barreling down the tracks

So to ring in the new school year, Barstool’s handsomest chap and myself went back to when we were merely Podsons instead of Podfathers and talked about the hype that was the first day of the school. The first day of school is like Opening Day in baseball. Everyone gets hyped up and excited as fuck for it to the point that nobody remembers that there is a marathon of dog days lurking. The entrepreneurial candy sellers have the newest flavors of Blow Pops in stock. The teachers have the look of life in their eyes after a 2 month vacation. And the students are dressed to the nines since they are all looking climb the social power rankings escalator style. Everyone wanted to have the freshest gear, whether it was your outfit or your school supplies.

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In the end, everyone usually forgot how sweet your new jeans or pencil case were by Day 2 of the school year. But some kids could take that hot start from the first day of school and ride it to the popular lunch table. The same goes for football. The Patriots, Packers, Steelers, Seahawks, etc. are the cool kids. But every so often, a goofy kid puts it all together and proves all the haters wrong.

Chaps and I also talked about which wrestler would be the best family member to have. And to the surprise of nobody that watched WWE during the late 90s or 2000s, we were on the same page.