Pro Tip For The Ladies: Date A Guy Who's Miserable

Contrary to popular belief, we’re not all about analyzing and breaking down sports here at Barstool. Your eyes deceive you, it’s not 100% guy talk like everyone always says it is. Every once in a while, on rare occasion, we like to enlighten the ladies.

Today comes my best piece of advice: date a miserable dude. He’s gotta be the right kind of miserable, not in the throes of depression and afraid to go outside like he’s writing Nightman Cometh, but a miserable guy with some hope. A miserable guy who still longs for joy. A nice, miserable guy.

You see, someone like that acknowledges the fact that they’re probably never gonna be in a good mood. Whether they’re on the couch, or at a bar, or on a lovely tropical island chances are that they’re still gonna think, “Well… this fucking sucks.” But… BUT… if you’ve got the right guy then he’ll do your shit knowing that he’ll be unhappy anywhere.

You want to go to your parents’ house? Sure. Wanna go to dinner with your friends? Cool. Away for the weekend? Let’s do it. Whatever you want to do, he’ll do it, because while he’s gonna be in a bad mood at any place on the globe there is a chance that you’ll be happy and eventually that will make him happy, so might as well take a crack at it.

Kevin says that’s the definition of love and I find it hard to disagree. Love isn’t rainbows and starry eyes, it’s “OK if this is gonna make you happy then let’s give it a shot, I don’t really give a shit what I want to do.”