While I was down in Florida doing typical dad things (dressing as Jabba the Hutt with an 18-year-old boy wearing a bikini), your pals KFC and Chaps took all the brownie points for themselves and did a Mother’s Appreciation Episode. Would I have liked to have been around to wax poetic about all the mom’s out there that act as the glue, the heart, and every other important part of a family? Of course. Yes because my wife listens to the podcast. But also because I think it’s the truest thing in the world. Chaps mentioned how women breastfeeding blows his mind because he is too lazy to do anything close to that. Not only do I agree, but I’ll go one step further. If men had to give birth, mankind as a whole would have been extinct after one generation. There is no way a man would willingly squeeze a normal sized baby through a hole that is wayyyyy too small to have a baby come out of it just for the good of the species. We just aren’t wired that way. So again a shout out to all the moms out there for doing what you do. Trust me, we appreciate you even if sometimes it doesn’t appear that way.
The guys also talk about KFC’s venture into a music class with Shea, Gordon Ramsey being an absolute fuckhead to his kids, and Chaps’ new hippy church having bouncers to kick out loud and unruly kids. Chaps and KFC may not like it, but I would loooooove to have a couple of goons like the ones Terry Benedict hired remove asshole kids at the drop of a whine. Bars have bouncers for unruly assholes that don’t know any better, why shouldn’t church or anywhere else on this planet be any different?
God I hope my wife reads that first paragraph.