If You Wouldn't Give A Kidney To A Friend You Are A Damn Fool

New KFC Radio hot off the presses and, if I may say, it’s probably our best one yet. Golden Globes wrap-up, some current events discussion, and a couple of weird questions. That’s a Hall of Fame KFC Radio lineup in my opinion. But my favorite was easily when a Stoolie who just had a kidney transplant was brought up and we discussed how good a friend someone would have to be in order to give them a kidney.

Let me say this loud and clear: if we’ve ever met and had a somewhat friendly conversation, you come to me if you need a kidney. I don’t even care if we exchanged phone numbers, send an email to Barstool tips or fire me a tweet. You want a kidney? I’ve got one for you, pal.

There is absolutely no downside to giving up a kidney (I have not researched this at all). Worst case scenario? You die in your sleep on the operating table. Not ideal, but certainly not the worst thing that’s ever happened to a person. Best case scenario? You live and wake up with a slave. That person is indebted to you forever. Need help moving? They have to help. Out to dinner? They gotta pick up the tab. Sit down on your couch and realize that the remote is on the other side of the room? Call that motherfucker up and tell them to come to your house and hand you your remote control, STAT. These are all things that are perfectly acceptable if you offer up a kidney.

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On top of the whole legal slave sitch, you’re also a hero. Whenever you’re out with your friend you introduce him then immediately follow it up with, “… I gave him a kidney.” Make sure the whole world knows. Chicks dig scars, chicks dig heroes, chicks dig sensitive guys, and you check ALL the boxes by offering up an organ to a friend in need.

So, like I said, there’s no downside at all. You either die or you wake up with a slave and celebrity-level pussy. Sign me up for that coin toss every day of the week.

PS – This blog isn’t legally binding. My made-up lawyers made me say that.