Lots going on with today’s KFC Radio. First we debated if there are more pigeons and rats in NYC or more cockraoches. Cockroaches are the obvious victor there. We also pondered what the proper response is to finding out you’re adopted at age 20. Personally, I don’t think that would bother me at all, which may or may not be the sign of a sociopath, but the guys seemed to think that it would be an earth-shattering moment. Maybe, maybe not. Who’s to know. I guess at that point you need to just start hitting on your relatives that you’d always had an unspeakable crush on? Seems to be the move IMHO.
But the message Dan and I really want people to take from this podcast is that treadmills are racist against fat people. It’s not that we don’t want to exercise, it’s that they literally won’t allow you to. They’re bigots. To be honest, until this episode I thought that’s just the way treadmills worked, with the hitch every time you put your foot down. I was always mystified by the girls running about 100 MPH on the thing, I had no idea how they so smoothly operated with the treadmill belt jolting all over the place. Turns out, I’m just fucking huge and practically break the thing every time I try and use it. That’s the man holding us big boys down. THEY don’t want us to be svelte. Next guy who makes a treadmill that will hold our weight is gonna be a billionaire because there’s nothing us big fellas love more than buying workout gear to “finally turn this train around” then using it once and draping clothes on it for the next five years.