If You Think September Is the Summer, You Are Among the Dumbest People in Society

September is the fall. I didn't know this was debatable at all, but it has recently come to my attention there are people — some of whom may be your family, friends and colleagues — lurking among us who believe September is part of the summer. These people should be jailed.

As a kid, I always went back to school on August 1. So in my mind, even August is the fall, but I certainly understand that not everyone went back to school that early and concede it makes sense to keep August as a summer month. That gives you the third month of the season and all is well.

So after that, what's the rationale for September? It's still hot?

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It's hot in the South until the middle of November. Let's just make everything varying degrees of summer, then. December-February is light summer, March-May is moderate summer and so on.

Then there are people apparently strictly adhering to the autumnal equinox at the end of September to mark the beginning of fall. Ok, so spring runs until the end of June, then?

They don't seem to have an answer for that one. Probably because it's nonsensical and nobody actually uses those designations. Football is played in September. Kids are back in school — at the absolute latest — in September. It's the fall.

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