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The Most American Expedition Was Mapped Out Using 200 Year Old Human Poop

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Lewis & Clark set out in 1803 to explore a $15 million dollar purchase of land from France by President Thomas Jefferson. 45 explorers set off on the trip and thanks to journals and thunder-clappers scientists are able to know specifics of the trip and the exact route of the expedition. It's obvious how we can learn about day to day activities from journals, but what the fuck is a thunder-clapper?

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Each member of the team started the expedition with a medical pack full of …

  • Turkish opium for nervousness
  • Emetics to induce vomiting
  • medicinal wine
  • 600 Thunder-clapper Pills, laxatives that contained 3 basic ingredients: chlorine, jalap (an herbal laxative), and more than 50% mercury. These ingredients were known to bring the thunder to your asshole. 

High levels of mercury in the pills allowed scientists find latrine pits used by the expedition and track the exact route from St. Louis to the Pacific coast and back using human shit.

Shutterstock Images.

The group didn't only survive on poop pills, thanks to well these men keeping well organized diaries (pussies) we know exactly what the Discovery Corps ate over the 3+ year expedition. 

Deer: 1,001

Elk: 375

Bison: 227

Dogs: 190  The expedition would eat dogs because of the fresh red meat they offered. Which we go into more detail on during Twisted History of Dogs

Beavers: 113

Bears: 66 

Antelope: 62

Plover (bird): 48

Geese: 46

Big Horn Sheep: 35

Otters: 16

Horses: 12  Barstool tried Horse Meat Potato Chips On Lowering The Bar. They taste like … Bison?

Turkeys: 9

Wolves: 1

Despite the obstacles the journey created, 44 of the 45 men returned. The lone death on the trip was due to an appendix bursting. Clark's PET Newfoundland dog , Seaman, even survived a kidnapping and surgery after a beaver bite.