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MLB Stadiums Change Their Names Wayyyyyy Too Much

 

I don't want to turn this into some big op-ed piece but I've been really upset about MLB stadium names for a while now and I need to get it off my chest. I think it's bullshit how often and easy they change names. Makes it practically impossible to capture and sell what baseball does best: nostalgia. There's none of that shit if every bank, insurance company and mortgage lender under the sun is bidding on the rights to put their mark on the world. It makes me sick. 

Just this week we were drafting MLB stadiums and it killed me to hear Miller Park come up and know that Miller Park won't be on the graphic because it's not called Miller Park anymore. It's called American Family Field because that's the single worst name we could think of and that's how it works. We just do the absolute dumbest shit. 

Not even SunTrust field could last a few seasons. AT&T is also dead. And don't even get me started on Guaranteed Rate Field. That's New Comiskey even though it's not New or Comiskey. 

The whole thing blows. Truist? T-Mobile? RingCentral? You're losing me with endorsements and I'm starting to get uncomfortable.

Some things should rise above the threshold of selling out and I nominate that we, as a society, move baseball stadiums into that category. Otherwise we're doing ourselves an injustice letting MLB flip flop so easily without consequence. Without hearing it first hand from the people. Well enough of that bullshit. 

You want a naming sponsorship that fucking matters? Some company should pump out money to drive down the cost of domestics by $1-2. There's a year long promo. Imagine the press release. 

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That's the kinda shit that deserves to be sponsored and endorsed and marketed and celebrated. Sponsor more complex toppings at the hot dog stands. Sponsor a better slice of pizza or maybe even one of the seats that's blocked behind a pole. Those kind of moves get the people talking and I think we need to start putting energy in that direction. We need to be brainstorming the shit out of ideas

More nacho helmets

Actually not a bad idea depending on who you talk to. Obviously I love a good nacho helmet but it can't be your first pick of the day. Settle into the helmet. Have a bunch of beers first and a good dog. Let the helmet come to you naturally. 

If I was an MLB team I'd charge you a fortune for that advice but I'm not. I'm just a regular guy who is sick and tired of all these fucking promotional changes and trying to remember which stadium is which. Maybe that makes me a moron but I'm your moron. 

Keep it simple for me.