Where Do You Want Your Ashes Scattered When You Die?

So we had this hypothetical come up on this week's Podfathers after this video of a dad whose kids honored his last wishes of being poured in a beer and dumped down a drain outside his favorite pub.

I'll be honest folks, I didn't think I'd be ready to cry after watching a man's remains get mixed into a pint of beer and dumped down a drain. I don't know if it was the beautiful voice of Jay R, the entire family attending the funeral at drain, or my brain being churned into an emotional mush by this pandemic. But I am a puddle right now despite being someone who thought the craziest thing I would hear was about 

Anyway back to the question at hand. Large and I broke down where we would like to be disposed us in Disney after an oven turned us into Thanos ashes.

However, that was clearly a very shortsighted way to answer the question. 

Getting dumped into the ocean like Donnie in The Big Lebowski seems like a good idea until the tides take you out to the deep blue parts of the ocean, which are pretty much the scariest place on this entire godforsaken planet. Being scattered in your favorite teams stadium isn't all that fun considering more times than not your team isn't playing, being scattered there means you are watching them live through good and bad, and it is only a matter of time before the stadium gets demolished for some newer stadium that will be built somewhere else.

Which is why I chose three places close to my overworked heart. 

1. The Costco Food Court

There would be nothing that made my ghost spirit happier than watching families arrive at the finish line of their warehouse shopping to indulge in some food that is as delicious as it is affordable while snooping through whatever they just purchased and judging them. The people that buy a million of the same items are especially prone for judgement as I try to figure out what they do for a living that would cause them to buy 10 cases of Gatorade (the answer in my mind is always that they own a bodega).

I would also love to know if the Costco hot dog ever went up in price after the co-founder infamously said this once upon a time.

2. An Unannounced Spot At Barstool HQ

Honestly, this would just be to haunt my coworkers along with getting the scoop on any gossip that I am not privy too since I am never able to get into the office. The thought of being with the giant New York rodents at night scares me but since I am a ghost, I could probably scare them away. Which I wouldn't since those animal Yankees fans deserve to live in that rat infested squalor they helped promote once upon a time.

I also would love to make a bunch of random noises during videos and podcasts just to see All Business Pete get blamed for everything.

3. Fed To A Baby Panda Bear

I'm not sure if pandas would eat charred human or how my kids would get close enough to feed me to an endangered animal. But I've always considered pandas to be my spirit animals and feel like my spirit would actually merge with the pandas spirit, meaning I would then become a panda bear which has honestly been my dream since the moment I learned about panda bears. I mean look at these guys. They are ADORABLE.

Also on this week's Podfathers, KFC joins the show to give an update on single dad life (SPOILER: Not great!) and we discuss the latest cartoon chracters to be cancelled, who honestly probably aren't the latest characters to be cancelled since I'm sure 3 more have been cancelled since I started writing this blog.