Clickbait: Anal Fissures And Decapitated Cats

Any Mets fan, or to be honest baseball fan, worth their salt instantly sniffed out that headline as being exclusively about the Amazins as KFC and I started filling out the Mets Misery Madness bracket since what the hell else are we going to do during this baseball season in pandemic purgatory?

There was so much bullshit to wade through recapping this misery that we only made it through most of the East bracket. But that's not to say we didn't dive deep into some chaos. We popped open some Coors lights and discussed:

- Which plays compared to Endy Chavez's catch in terms of most forgotten great sports moments that were ultimately worthless

- The saga of Kevin Mitchell and whether or not he actually decapitatted his girlfriend's cat.

- How Duaner Sanchez's cab ride not only ruined the 2006 season but pretty much the next 5+ seasons

- Jason Bay. Yes, just everything about Jason Bay

- Anna Benson Claus. Yes, just everything about Anna Benson Claus

- Mr. Met flipping off the fans and how it made KFC $5000 in less than 24 hours.

- And maybe the biggest highlight of the Mets season so far: Finding out that Kaz Matsui did not get diagnosed with anal fissures until AFTER he was a Met!

Anything is possiblllllllllllllle!!! I know finding out this fact doesn't change anything about the countless fuck ups in Mets history. But as the saying goes:

We also kicked back with some ice cold Coors Lights and watched the virtual Mets take on the virtual Nats in MLB: The Show because any baseball is good baseball right now.

P.S. If you clicked this blog hoping to see actual anal fissures or decapitated cats, can you please call up your local government official and place yourself on a watch list? Thanks!