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Sorry to any of the #GoPresGo kids that had their childhoods crash down while reading the headline to this blog. But we had a goddamn parental emergency on the Podfathers this week with both Large’s and Chaps’ youngest kids probably about to have their last Christmas as believers in Santa. Being a parent is about as thankless a job as there is in the world. But the occasional happy moments you get when seeing your kid believe that a magical fat guy brings them presents because they were well behaved definitely makes some of the shittier moments worth it.

It’s also a hell of a lot easier to weaponize a fictional character to kids that sees them when they’re sleeping and knows when they’re awake than just yelling you won’t get them presents if they don’t sit down and shut up. So we discuss about how different it will be once those kids realize they’ve been duped by the biggest hoax on God’s green Earth, if gifting a puppy for another person’s kids is ever okay, if putting up Christmas lights shaped as a giant dick is ever okay, and if beating up your kid’s bully is ever okay.

Again for the millions of people asking, in lieu of gifts for this holiday season, the Podfathers ask that you download/subscribe/rate 5 stars on iTunes and Spotify instead.