With Elimination Day upon us, I decided to ask my Mets Fans Anonymous sponsor what genre of movie this unbelievably fucked up Mets season has been. You can make a case it is a horror movie, a drama, a comedy, a thriller, or pretty much anything but a feel good movie.
However, KFC responded with an actual movie, Seven. Every gut wrenching loss from the Chernobyl Diaz blown save in LA to the Dom Smith dropped pop up against the Giants to The Big One against the Nats each representing one of the seven deadly sins. I thought it was Requiem For A Dream. Everything seemed fine and dandy at first before it gradually devolved into sadness, chaos, additction, and people being put in extremely uncomfortable positions for the paying customer (Yes, I am comparing half the team playing out of position to the infamous ass-to-ass scene). Other acceptable answers include Saw, Human Centipede, or any other flick that left you feeling sad or disturbed to the point you will never feel whole again.
We also talk about Pete Alonso being the new King of New York, Frank The Tank having to take the Polar Bear Plunge and KFC having to jump off a bridge after cumming due to Pete’s 50 dingers, Hechy thanking God he is no longer a Met, and the Mets doing Mets shit by promoting golf at Citi Field on a day they could have been eliminated from the playoffs.
The future looks bright, but with half measures and too many players at the same position, it’s tough to know what to believe in. Regardless, we will be there to talk through it together, because we gotta believe…right?